It's all about survival of the fittest. And the lucky.
I don't believe I haven't tried "hard enough". Neither do I believe that I haven't been consistent. All the shit talk about being a math guru was nothing but a fallacy. I don't think I'm gonna continue working my ass off anymore. Afterall, this is the kinda shit that gets thrown back at me, time after time. Murphy's Law.
It suddenly dawned upon me that all the fuckin hard work that I've put in for the past 2 years will never pay off. I blew it.
It also doesn't really help when you come out of the exam hall, seeing people who are of mediocre standard bragging how simple the paper was, or about "oh.. I only loss less than 20 marks". The worst kind of people are those that show you the smug look. Then, you get people like me and swan; stunned by what we overheard. I'm not jealous. I'm not petty. I just can't stand the fact that I screwed the fuckin thing up!! The only subject that I thought I could bank on and get an A..
I really don't believe it. Truth hurts. It really does. I've learnt that it doesn't pay to be kind, helpful and nice anymore. They just take advantage of you and then they overtake you, leaving you wondering, what just happened.
