Extreme restlessness.
This crazy weather has definitely taken its toll on me. Soon, there'll be this mad rush to collect the clothes that are hung outside. Yeah.. Can say that I'm not exactly used to doing most of the household chores. The only thing that I do when my maid's around, is to make my own bed and put the rice bowl back into the sink. Heh.
Today, I helped Swan cook instant noodles. She finished it so it's safe. There's still heaps of clothes that are waiting to be ironed. I love ironing, fyi.
I wonder what's the big commotion over the prom. I'm caught in it too. I think it's a damn waste of money and time. Did I mention it kills the legs when wearing those fuckin sky high heels? It causes mental retardation too. (Clara was caught holding one heel in the hand, looking like she was ready to whack some idiot on the head. Oh. The other was still on her foot.)
I think people who are capable of doing the chameleon trick should be condemned by society. Heard so many cases that I automatically yawn upon hearing another. Guess it's the "in" thing now to be able to morph into an entirely different thing. I can't do that and I don't intend to either. Does that make me a loser? Hah. It's just one big cycle of making use of people anyway.
Just to sum it up, I don't think anything matters as much as it used to. The old me used to be affected by almost everything that doesn't sound/look normal. Now, things are just blah. Perhaps I was over reacting and being ultra paranoid in the past. Or maybe.. spending quality time with my darlings' heals the soul. Right. That sounded like a bag full of bullshit. Hahaha.
Well, I think I'm happier (besides that occasional shit that gets flung right at me). I could be wrong you know. I mean, I've been living in self-denial for far too long that I might have already been used to it. So.. yeah. This could be another case of e'an-deluding-herself.

*We're not gonna be just a part of the game
We're not gonna be just the victims
They're taking our dreams and they tear them apart

I think the craze is back again. Just fuck off. Btw biatch, I highly suspect what you said about your other un-gay santa's full time side kick, is true. It's like non stop praising. I bet it's freakier than the mad brolly man. Know what I mean?

Bf was having her usual constipation. As a result, she was stuck in the toilet for 156789198 years. Btw, the toilet was air-conditioned and it stank like hell. I suspect those minahs working in pre rouge smoke in there. Anyway, my legs were giving way so I hibernated in one of the cubicles.

Msg to bf: Tell me when you're done. I'm gonna take a short nap in here.
Bf's reply: Hahahaha. Pls blog this down.

And boy did I sleep. I even fell asleep at the restaurant half way during dinner. I'm that pro.
Being random here. I hate people who distribute flyers by shoving it right at your face. So what if it's easy money? I think it's a damn useless job. Imagine putting this in your resume; Distributed flyers during school holidays. Wtf?! People don't gain any extra skill, they all speak like uneducated fools ie, "pls take one. dunch want den throw away lorZ". Double wtf?! This is the epitome of a negative externality. Oh.. and distributing flyers is just sooo mentally stimulating! I love it damn alot can?
Those that keep bugging people to help they complete a survey are also damn irritating. Sickening!! Don't know if you ppl noticed, but they are all piangsters.
I need a never ending supply of silly jokes, lame comments and hideous items. Hurhur. Siao de, I miss your brolly already. x( Next time bring a bigger one so crystle can have tears rolling down her cheeks.

*It's simple, confusing, the truth is I'm winning but I'm losing
And pulling and pushing, won't do me any good
It could, it should
I'm honest to myself that the truth is I lied

Say "bye bye" to sit-ups and crunches. Spending a day with my AFs will guarantee nice contours on your stomach.
Mo, don't kill me ok?

Clara: *whining nonstop about her almost invisible pimple*
Steffie: Eh. Teach you something. Use charcoal and darken your pimple so people will think it's a mole.
Me, Crystle, Steffie: *burst out in uncontrollable laughter*
Clara: Huh???? I don't get it! You all always bully me!!
Steffie: You see ah, people will notice the pimple and go "oh.. you have a new pimple!" but they won't say "oh.. you have a new mole!"
Me, Crystle, Steffie: *laugh nonstop again*
Clara: *ultimate black face and walks off in an aunty-ly fashion*

Damn.. I love my gfs! Do you still think Zulaiman Tanah-Merah Bte Mhd is still funny?? Or maybe this, "Babehhh, come to Daddeh.."?? Fuck sial.. I can't stop laughing! Gotta do this more often, with bf included. Can't wait to carry out the Jickey Mouse plan, biatch!!
This is a retarded post but that's how things always are when we hang out together. iLu darlings, -muahhh-

My sleep was disrupted by a fuckin sms at 530am. Yesterday, the same thing happened but it was worse cos the sms was meaningless. Today's one was... well, lemme say I was cursing the shitass person for giving me a heart attack when my phone went "beep!" so damn loudly. BUT, the content was really worth the sacrifice to forgo my sleep. Hohoho. My cheap thrill early in the morning.
I was just thinking, why are we able to change the values that we've held so strongly to, in just a matter of months? It makes me wonder if we are all really that weak inside. I've seen people change and I have to admit that I almost crossed the line too. You are supposed to feel guilty right? But you don't. It's as if that's part and parcel of life. If you don't follow the crowd, you're a loser.
I don't like to be associated to being "just like the rest" or stereotyped. That's just nonsense. I don't want to be told what to do and when to do it. Basically, I think peer pressure should never have existed. Not that I succumb to it ever so often.
I'm sure Swan must have been hurt by my sudden change. She doesn't say it but I know that feeling lingers somewhere in her. But like I've said, I don't regret whatever I've done. Not a single bit.
I guess change is inevitable. You just gotta accept people for who they are. And if you can't, that's when the friendship ends.

*I love you, I hate you

You can hate me but I'm still gonna say this. My exams are O.V.E.R!!!!
Having said that, there's still odd feeling of wanting to pick up my books and start studying. It's like I haven't accomplished a great deal of shit. Like I haven't studied that hard for the exams and I'm overwhelmed by guilt. As usual, so what's new?!
I hate living the kind of lifestyle that I'm gonna have for the next few months. Idling around, watching tv, walking the whole of town (in heels proves to be a killer too) can only kill so much time. Not enough. I'm definitely going to find a job. A decent job that doesn't allow the boss to boss me around like I'm some idiotic fucktard from the ITE. Bad memories linger you know.
So how? I think my brain cells are gonna die. I just pray that everything goes smoothly and my grades allow me to get into a decent uni. But I highly doubt that cos today's econs paper was damn demoralising. I thought I heard The Cheater saying it was damn easy.
I've included driving lessons as one of my post exam activities. That's something to look forward to. And if I get my license soon enough, I can drive the people I like around. Hmm.. maybe even selective bastards from camp too. x)
Anyhow, I met my biatch, mosielohsee and baby cakes today!!!!!!!!! People watching at lido with one group of cheena ah bengs on your right, and a bigger group of mats on your left was damn scary. No hotties were spotted so I came to this ingenious conclusion; the cool people are studying for the A levels.
I really need to plan what I'm gonna do with my life now. Living each day as it is, proves to be far too mundane and dreary. I wish I was back in school. Everyday is a new chapter, although my life has never been that good. But nonetheless, looking at the people somehow makes me happy. Sigh..
Which reminds me, my AF darlings, can we go Escape someday soon?? Crystle said asap before she resumes school, i.e: officially on the 6th of Dec, un-officially, one week later. Can can can???? Please????
I'm bored already. Bye bye.

*Blurry

Tricia's guide to aceing the exams:
1.Be a complete loner
2.Unplug the tv and lock it up
3.Unplug the computer and lock it up
4.Create a special room with only a table, a chair and stationary to mug
5.Throw away any form of communication i.e, handphones, telephones
6.Ensure you only have 8 hours of sleep and nothing more
7.Study in RJC's uniform to make yourself feel smarter
8.Lastly, paste pictures of Ivy League universities in the room

Disclaimer:If all fails, please seek professional help.

Love, Tricia

Poor time management kills. It was a dreadful mad rush to finish picking the answers by random probability, for the 15+ questions that I left blank. When I have only 10 minutes left of course. It was a race against time, trying to pick out the best answer when I'm already flustered enough. I'm crossing my fingers and hoping for the best.
One of the weird things that I derive satisfaction from, is to stack up my notes and books and chuck them in my shelf. It makes me delirious to know that I don't have face the numerous equations and informations anymore. Anytime soon at least. Wait till I am done with econs on monday. That'll be the greatest satisfaction for sure!
The OC seriously rock balls. I'm gonna get my hands on the whole of episode 1 once I'm done with this sinful phase.
Going out and having fun doesn't seem as enticing as it was before. Maybe things are falling apart. Or perhaps I've been stuck at home for far too long that I almost dread going out. The feeling of being caged isn't so much of being "caged" now. Oh well..
The only people whom I truely enjoy spending time with have no time for me. How sad right? Never mind that.
Anyway, it seems like more people are feeling moody and down these few days. Why?? Because it's a vicious cycle. I'm not feeling it now, but I'm sure it's coming back to get me reallllyyy soon. I just hope everyone who's down in the dumps will bounce back on their feet soon. It's already sad enough to be living in this materialistic society where everyone is self-centred to a certain extent.
I need a holiday. I'm gonna have a holiday. My feathered friend had better join me. My baby cakes rather spend time doing more constructive things. I don't blame her. She says it's fufilling, when she receives a big smile. Whatever ok, bf? My eyes are about to hit the ceiling. And stop saying that I'm a morbid bitch!
Blogging has become somewhat tedious. It's hard trying to string my thoughts into sentences that make sense, not just words. Cos anyone can do just that. I guess I'm just brain dead.

*I speak for myself

I think there's something wrong with the stupid people who set the exam papers.
First, the math questions were totally out of this world. Nothing similar and direct as the past years.
Secondly, the chem setters were even more fucked up. Do I look like I know what gas cement absorbes when it dries and harden? If I knew, I wouldn't be right here, cramming thousands of info and sitting for the exam. Idiots.
Econs. Hahahaha. I've never written so much, until the point whereby my palms were sweating and I was suffering from dizzy spells halfway.
Maybe this is supposed to help enhance creativity. Spare me please. I'm in a fuckin science stream; the people who are stereotyped as rigid thinkers. So give us questions that don't require me to think outta the box. Gimme boring questions cos I'm a boring science student. Blah. I don't hang around construction sites enquiring why cement hardens you know?!
Oh well, at least my major papers are so over. For now. That's if my grades are decent enough to make it to a reputable uni. If I fuck up and SIM is my only choice, I'll jolly well go kill myself. I can't imagine undergoing through the torment of doing econs all over again.
Just to quote Phil, "econs is just so dead, its so unfeeling, its a turn off." and "econs is for boring people, so if u meet one who loves it, remember to run, far far away."
The only one who seems to share my exact thoughts. No more essays!!! 3 essays almost killed me. I really wonder how the arts people can tahan writing more than that. I actually have a phobia for writing now.
Note to self: Stop spotting topics!
Girlies, 2 more mcq papers and one jackass DQR and case study!! Can you sense my excitement?! Wheeeeeeeeee.
Onto other more interesting news, my life has been utterly boring. The irony of it all. Hahahaha. Biatch, I'm coming for you real soon ok?
I love my baby cakes. We have so much in common and if I list them down, it'll be even longer than Santa's list. Superficiality kills right? Manymanymany more years of err.. offtuned singing and mosquitoe bites eh? iLu Low Wei Lin, Tricia.

*Over paranoid

You know what.. I think there's really no point blogging about "what-I-did-to-myself-after-a-bad-breakup." Excuse my frankness. What is the point of announcing to the whole world that you slit your wrist just cos you're going through a breakup? Hello??? Being the rather superficial bitch here, I'll tell you that they leave permanent scars.
Besides, was gaining sympathy from others your motive in doing so? Using that sharp object to slit yourself is already stupid enough. Announcing it to the whole world(and perhaps hoping your precious love would read it and feel the pain)would just be like digging your own grave. Do you not know that you just provided people with more juicy information? Oh puh-lease. Stop that whole "this is only physical pain.. how do I ever heal my broken heart?" drama.
Are these people just gonna wallow in self pity for the rest of their lives? Lemme tell you an easier way out since BOTH parties did the exact same thing of trying to take their own lives. But lack the guts to do so.
1. Jump off the building together. You'll be able to live together forever.
2. If you wanna cut yourself, exert more force. Don't be a coward and just leave scars. Anyway, the number of people who die successfully using this method is err.. very low la huh.
Sorry for sounding a little morbid. It's just that if people are really determined to die, they won't announce it. Know what I mean? So since they did, why even do it in the first place? What. It gives you a sense of adrenaline rush? Or like it numbs your emotional pain? Bull shit!

Ok, that aside. This is to reassure the biatch that I will definitely talk to her asap. Confirm plus chop. Need authorised signature or not? x)
Oh.. and Joleen, can I borrow your Vagina Monologue after the exams? Please please please. I'll promise to not laugh when I hear your recordings.
Just a random thought. I hate cab drivers who yell when talking on a hp. Super irritating. I hate them even more when they take a super long route(I didn't tell him to change his route cos he was on the phone. Doubt he could hear me through his 1000 decibels voice anyway)and cheat me of my money. Fuckin swine. A trip back from Bt Batok cost me $6.40 when it's supposed to be $5 smth. To make matters worse, he was driving behind some sbs bus ON PURPOSE, humming some cheena hokkien song. Fuckshit. He still had the cheek to ask me, "xiao mei ah.. ni you mei you wen dao chou wei? ying wei gang cai you ren qu ba sha mai yu, ran hou yu de shui dao zai wo de che shang. wo yi jing xi le ke shi pa hai shi you wei dao."
Stupid. Since when did fish mongers sell dead fishes with water? Or is he telling me that the fish secretes 1 litre of water upon being killed? I wasn't in a rude mood so I said no. But if he continued singing off-tuned hokkien classics, this would have been my answer.
"Uncle.. chou wei bu shi cong yu lai de, er shi cong ni de zhui ba fa chu de."
That, will definitely keep his mouth shut. Don't mess with my chinese k.. I had distinctions for both O level and AO level chinese orals. *beams*

The Return Of Miss Xia Suay:
Something embarrassing happened during tuition. I should have stayed put with nat and not shift though it was damn squeezy. And I don't like to restrict myself when doing work. The more space, the better.
So anyway, the sickening cow guoyi kept cancelling my work cos he insisted it was wrong when I was right. I tolerated. Then, he started rambling on and on about some stupid shit. (Nat and I were going bonkers with the ac boys discussing the freakin math paper. Shut up la!t.c.t.r joined in and the last straw was when that cow started giving his 2 cents worth of thoughts and insisted that I listen)
This is the embarrassing thing. I shouted damn loudly, "shut up la bitch!!!" I mean people who know me well will know that I speak like that. Jokingly or not, is another story. So anyway, everyone(about 17 people)just turned to look at me. Nat got a greater shock. Hahahaha. The malay girl was like *gasp* and then this other ac boy started laughing damn hard so the rest of the ac entourage did the same thing. Suay suay, the teacher came in and saw stupid guoyi laughing and then he said "eh guoyi ah.. E'an's very sociable. Pls sit away from her."
Wtf?????? Everytime he does something stupid, I get blamed. On top of that, I got maligned for lying that I screwed the paper up. Today is just way too malu for my liking. Thank god I didn't shout fuck. If not, I'll probably be condemned. Eh. I might be vulgar with words, but at least I'm sincere ok.
Mr Fatty, if you're reading this, I'm not gonna let you off so easily.

Bloody hell. I'm still feeling sore about the paper. I tell you, I'm uber uber pissed about so many fuckin things!!! I could really scream into someone's ear and cause permanent damage.
1. I can't stand my house being surrounded by construction sites that are breeding mosquitoes. It's like, MOSQUITOE GALORE. When I say surrounded, I mean surrounded. The bloody condo behind, 2 houses opposite my house and my freakin jackass neighbour who uses the house as an office. Leaves the garden totally unattended. I bet the drain's clogged up with leaves and stagnant water. I'm a chem student. Even a stupid ass would know mossies breed in stagnant water.
2. I get confused with economic terms. High i/r -> BOP surplus -> exchange rate appreciates? I dunno wtf I'm doing. My econs is so motherfuckin doomed. I don't even know whether what I just said makes sense.
3. I can't stand people who absolutely love to criticise everyone they see and end up doing the exact same thing. Non-stop motormouthing irritates the shit out of me I swear. Shut up bitch!
4. Don't irritate me before any exam. I'm already highly stressed and I swear I'll bite. Playing mind games won't work. I know you well enough. You are the same bitch.
5. I think only IJ girls are sincere. This, I am sure of. Or at least they are much much much more sincere than girls of other all-girls school. Direct with our words, we don't bother beating around the bush. As much as we bitch, we aren't as evil. Oh, we don't own masks. We don't portray an innocent front but contain a highly impish, devil like creature with a scheming mind.
6. Competition amongst your friends is perfectly fine. In fact, I encourage a fair competition. It motivates you(until the pt you sit for some fucked up math paper). BUT, using underhand means to achieve your goal is simply fucked up. Why? Don't dare to take up the challenge is it? Have to resort to using your secretive methods, reverse psychology and being a closet mugger in order to do better? Coward! Shallow bitch!
7. How can I exclude Kiss & Tell. My my.. Guys who do that are despicable. Then again, if they don't, we won't get to hear of interesting news. AF gatherings would then be ohsoboring. I think we're evil. Stuffing ourselves silly with gossips while some girl out there doesn't even know she's been labelled a slut by the boys. And the whole world knows about what she did. I mean, as much as it gives us a sense of satisfaction knowing what went on(gfs: remember what steffie told us abt the "HUH??? YOU SAW CUM ON MY MOUTH??" ?), it isn't exactly nice to the girl. I think I ought to stop participating. I'll just sit and listen and keep my bloody mouth shut. Karma. Guys should seriously shut up and stop bragging about how many girls they've screwed. It's pathetic to boost your ego and popularity by announcing how many girls you had sex with. For all you know, you might have sucked sooooooo bad in bed. Time for the seldom Girl's turn to kiss and tell. What went on behind closed doors are supposed to be private and can only be shared between trustable close friends. It's called mutual respect. Stupid shitheads. If you guys are guilty of that, stop it!!! If you have kept whatever on goings between you and a few close friends, then give yourself a pat on the back.
Hur hur.. I feel better already. No wonder people of the same kind hang out together. I'm soooooo glad I backed out before I morph into something similar subconsciously.
One piece of advice; people who look innocent, sweet and are over friendly are the worst kind of friends you can ever make. They stab you in your back. Not once, not twice. But repeatedly until you become numb and oblivious of the pain. I don't mean back-stabbing although that can happen too. That kind of stabbing. Whoaaaa. I hope I don't ever get that shit ever. I'll be the greatest fool then.
I like the way my biatch expresses herself even when she's angsty. Beautiful. Unlike me. Garbled thoughts and spewing words incoherently. Gahh..

It's all about survival of the fittest. And the lucky.
I don't believe I haven't tried "hard enough". Neither do I believe that I haven't been consistent. All the shit talk about being a math guru was nothing but a fallacy. I don't think I'm gonna continue working my ass off anymore. Afterall, this is the kinda shit that gets thrown back at me, time after time. Murphy's Law.
It suddenly dawned upon me that all the fuckin hard work that I've put in for the past 2 years will never pay off. I blew it.
It also doesn't really help when you come out of the exam hall, seeing people who are of mediocre standard bragging how simple the paper was, or about "oh.. I only loss less than 20 marks". The worst kind of people are those that show you the smug look. Then, you get people like me and swan; stunned by what we overheard. I'm not jealous. I'm not petty. I just can't stand the fact that I screwed the fuckin thing up!! The only subject that I thought I could bank on and get an A..
I really don't believe it. Truth hurts. It really does. I've learnt that it doesn't pay to be kind, helpful and nice anymore. They just take advantage of you and then they overtake you, leaving you wondering, what just happened.

I'll always remember, it was late afternoon. It lasted forever and ended too soon.

Ever gotten the feeling of your heart plunging right down to your hips, after reading something that has absolutely nothing to do with youself? I feel sick now.(not literally though I am still kinda ill) Well, that just happened to me. Mind you. The post was nothing near the "heart wrenching" category.

Do I sound like a maid? Bloody pissin. This isn't the first time my mom's imbecile relatives call and then start rambling in malay, askin for her. Then when I reply in mandarin, they always give the kinda sheepish laughter. Wtf..
Yeah. It's wtf day today. Everything went wtf and everyone's like wtf. Chow yang made me feel so wtf when he started singing the Shark Tale song accompanied with action pls. "Deh deh deh deh, deh deh, deh deh, can't touch this.." So what happened? I started acting wtf with him, shouting "CAN'T TOUCH THIS!!!!" all the way to town. I'm embarrassed by myself.
It's gonna be a wtf night minus OC. I like Thursdays cos there's OC to look forward to. x)
Oooh boy.. Bf saw this DROP-DEAD-GORGEOUS dress. She looks sooooooo sweeeet in it. My lady killer in red. And she's gonna get it. She'd better get it. I'll never forgive her if she doesn't get it. See, tall girls who look like fake ang mohs always have the advantage over others. It doesn't matter if she's flat. That, can be easily solved.
I have to give my superficial comments abt the US elections before I take my leave. I think Bush doesn't deserve to win AT ALL. Who knows what he did to get those extra votes. I bet his long sleeves are used to hide his nasty gadgets that he uses for godknowswhat purpose. Those US citizens who have the herd instinct obviously don't know what they're in for this time. Voting for Bush would be the gravest mistake made. I mean, it would only be fair if those two(Osama and Bush) fight it out themselves right? Don't put the lives of those innocent people at risk with your constant bombings and whatnot. So I suggest this. Let Bush and Osama fight it out. Just the 2 of them. It'll be like a wrestling match but with primitive weapons like stones and rusty knives. No guns pls. So yeah. The whole world would be watching the match. Osama can perhaps show the world his trick to Hide and Seek. If not, then... just fight la! Fight till both of them dies. Hahahhaha. Sorry.. I was just imagining both of them clad in boxing gears.
I hate nonsensical posts sometimes. Today, is "sometimes"

I am not a malingerer. My internal system has gone haywire. I just wanna curl up and bleed to death.
You must think that I am insane to sleep with the air-con on when I'm having a flu, sore throat and a mild case of cough. But the construction sites behind and infront of my house are breeding mosquitoes!!! The only way to have a proper sleep is to switch on the air-con. Fuck. I slept with a jacket plus my blanket pulled right up to my neck. Felt like I was in North Pole or something.
The 3 party conversation brought back many fond memories, although I wasn't participating much. Felt like I could so goddamn relate to it, but that was the past. Anyway..
I realised that more often that not, we make up our own fairytales. We choose to ignore what we don't like and then go on to delude ourselves into thinking that there is a possibility for that something to happen. But one fine day, that beautiful sandcastle that we painstakingly built would be crushed by the waves i.e, reality.
Seen so many of such cases that I'm beginning to get quite sick of hearing people lamenting about this and that. Don't get me wrong. I'm still willing to hear you out but sometimes, a change of topic would do both of us good. I'll be honest. Making it an everyday affair kinda irks me. The staleness kills. Soon, it'll be a monotonous monologue.
Well, it's always good to know that my darlings have good company when the going gets tough. x) Those late night conversations that revolve around the topic of whispering sweet nothings are always therapeutic. Hahahahaha. Okay. Enough teasing already.
Oh yah. Was having a discussion with a friend about someone being fake. I call her The Cheater. Maybe I was oblivious to her behaviour in the past, or maybe because she seemed so sweet and nice, or maybe... I just didn't know her well enough. But it seems like signs of fakeness are surfacing now. Like BIG TIME. The look that she threw me when I greeted her was like "whoaaaa". Imagine this. She said "hi" through gritted teeth and she was giving me that "don't-hi-me-cos-I-know-what-happened" stare. And of course, it wouldn't be complete without that big fake smile right? Right.
Bye people. I'm gonna call Swan now to seek help on those ever so demoralising chemistry questions.

*Deaf