First things first, my biatch did up my blogskin. Many thanks to you darl! *iLu -muaah-
Fatigue and restlessness. Seemingly unable to sit down and find peace and solace in what is required of me now. In search of food constantly. Oh shut up. It's like my appetite has grown to that of a boy's. How disgusting. 5 bars of kit-kat, 7 chocolate chip cookies, 1 sitck of ice-cream and I had to stop myself from reaching that can of coke. Just 1 hour before dinner, mind you. The fats are pilling and my Hot Sweat regime has somewhat come to a standstill. Whatever. Maybe that is what I need; to make me concentrate better and hopefully, achieve those abs.
I've been deceived. Always thought that it'll only happen to people who cheat. So since I don't fall into that category, why me? Obviously there are a trillion questions that'll be unanswered in one's lifetime. I'll have to create my own deluded version now. The bad karma that I've accumulated over the past 6 years or so definitely has a part to play. Other than that, I don't think I'm as evil, scheming, masked and fake. Ah.. Perhaps it's a blessing in disguise.(fine eg. of deluding oneself)
Living in darkness alone for a week. x) Although it's a tad bit too late now. Imagine the euphoria I would have felt back then. Perfect timing too. Nonetheless, I get to invite only my shadow and morbid thoughts over for company. No one else. Just me, myself and I. But, those trailers for The Grudge seem to have an adverse effect on me.
I race against time to jump onto my bed once I switch off the lights. Exactly 1.5 steps. Fearing something is lurking beneath my bed, arms reaching out to grab my ankles. And when I lie on my bed, I try not to look up. Just in case. The little girl's fear back then was just about the supernatural. The notsolittle girl's fear now, includes more than just the supernatural. Go figure.
For all the lies I've tasted
Just looking for the truth
For all the dreams I'm chasing
Well what am I to do?
When everything's against me
And the answers are all wrong
I'm hoping that I'll find out
It was worth it all along...

*The taste of rust. My blood.