Emo. Cos of the graduation day in a few hours time. No. Not sad about leaving the school. In fact, I'm as elated as a girl who's offered a cola lollipop. Ok. I was given a lolly just now but let's not divert.
It's more so cos of the friends. Isn't that what all the non-freaks would say? As much as cj being a hellhole/shithole/craphole etc, the people here simply rock! Well, at least I don't perceive the school as being a society, unlike other jcs. Of course I'll miss my gfs. I don't know whether we'll still keep in contact after 1 year. People do drift apart, I'm aware of that. Then there's the whole empty feeling cos all the guys would be in NS. That sucks too. And as much as I say that I hate the sji guys(sounds familiar?), I seem to have an affinity with them. Since sec 3, there were sji guys in tuition classes. Spending 2 years in cj made me hate them even more. Hur hur. Perhaps it was caused by the sole bad experience I had back in j1 that tormented me so damn much. But I'm forgiving. x) I guess they're not that bad afterall. I was blinded by prejudice. But all's good now. I think.
It's scary to think of the future. Were the friendships forged during the 2 years for real? Or were they just there to give us a reason to go to school; to bitch, to rant, to joke, to fight..? And that after the A levels, is it bye bye forever until we meet again somewhere?
Damnations.
Unfinished business I might put it. So many things to say to people but just can't do so. Why? Cos I have my pride. So everyday, I just keep practising my speech in my head. Pretending that a real conversation is going on. I'm highly self deluded as you can see.
These few days without my gfs in school wasn't good but it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Gave me time to be alone. At least I didn't have to rush down to the canteen to give them hugs and whatnot. So it's been the 2 fuckers and I for the 2 days. And of course my trusty boobs buddy, Daph.
Inveighing against people. What's your stand? I used to support that idea with a capital S but now, it's just plain stupid. Unless of course you're dealing with the ahneh in my class.
Aiya.. enough of this already. Nostalgia isn't quite the word.
Lemme just say this. If I ever die a sudden death, pls don't rule out lizards as the prime suspect ok? Those fuckin creeps are EVERYWHERE. There's one without a tail living in my room and I got a fuckin shock just now when I was opening the window. It was right beside my palm. Goddamn those pests. Did I mention, there's this HUGE one living behing the tv downstairs? It looks like a snake for sure. Its head is the size of the first segment of my thumb. No, they're absolutely NOT CUTE AT ALL. Those psychos who work with reptiles and amphibians in the zoo must be mental.
One last thing. I cannot stand the thought of sharing the same scent as the pigeon. It's like being associated to.. the Land Of Dirties!!!

*Memories, not the past.