The tightness in my throat accompanied with the feeling of someone using a sandpaper to smoothen my tonsils. Urgh.. I think I'm falling ill. I forgot to mention flu too.
What a perfect timing, just a day after my birthday and I have to be sick. This shit had better recover soon. Really soon. If not, I wouldn't be able to get shit done with watery eyes and my hand reaching for tissues every minute. Not forgetting looking like Rudolf.
People say I talk incessantly. I agree. I know I shouldn't be disturbing the people during tuition (with my sudden laughing fits, the scribbling sound and then erasing furiously until the paper almost tore); those people who are ever so keen to solve apgp questions. But wasted trips bore me to death. And nat too. So since both of us can't fathom what that stupid fatass tadpole is talking about, it's only right for us to gossip and talk right? Nat, only 6 more lessons and we can't do this anymore!!! No more t.c.t.r also. Sigh!
The teddy's reaaaallly tiny. And I'm on a laughing spree. But since it's from my Sexy, anything would do.
My big sister has no budget. Was a nice surprise to see her barge into my room with that thing in her hand. Without my specs, I can't see clearly. But I make no mistakes when it comes to colours. That can make up for the shitty feeling I'm getting now.
I'm still feeling awful now. How now brown cow?!

*An overdose of medication and I'll be Sleeping Beauty

I attended the sleaziest wedding ever. No joke. Chiam's wedding to be precise. Our class table was tucked at the pathetic corner right beside the damn kitchen. The food sucked. Thats cos I was being a bitch(again)and didn't wanna eat this and that. Which sums up to about 4/9 of the food served.
See, I didn't eat that disgusting sea-cucumber,(tannie reminded me that it looks like a penis when it's dried and sold in the market.), I didn't eat the suckling pig cos I'm a self proclaimed halal. I didn't eat the roast duck cos basically, I only eat white meat. I didn't eat the steamed prawns cos I'm allergic to them. Yup. People ought to stop inviting me for weddings. I just go there act pretty, be bitchy, bitch and bitch even more. They didn't even offer wine! Damnit.
The Brandy sucked. I almost died. The coke wasn't fizzy anymore so that sucked even more. But then, I had fun bitching about khoo(she was clad in some weirdo outfit again. makeup seemed rather nice on her though. bet she hired a makeup artist to do it for her), and all the lameass loser science teachers. I think it's damn loserfied to be doing science. Cos you just end up looking like a mad scientist if you aren't already one.
The company at my table was great so the night wasn't totally spoilt la, unlike my day. So bloody loserfied I swear. Who the hell wakes up at 7.15am for tuition, and then have another tuition at 2pm, and then rush off to a crappy wedding that looked like a riot was going on, on her birthday? Me. Thank you. Btw, the restaurant sucked. Have you heard of Noble House? Not me, till 5 hrs ago.
So anyway, thanks to everyone who smsed/called/came down personally to my house to wish me a happy birthday. x) Being 18 feels, normal. No significance.
Silly joleen, getting all excited for me when I'm just stoning.
Dearie reminded me of the time when I was supposed to sing with her for morning assembly. Eh. I can sing la ok. So anyway, one of the guitarist's guitar string snapped in the midst of my singing(IT WASN'T DUE TO BAD SINGING!!!)and I just turned and looked, and then ended up laughing into the microphone really loudly. In front of the whole school. Hahahhahaha. Of course both of us got fucked by my choir teacher later on but thats another story. Those were the good old days eh girl?
So thats it. My boring 18th. Bye bye people. Oh yeah. Happy Halloween! Too bad I'm not going ard the neighbourhood this year to see cute ang moh kids in their costumes, yelling "TRICK OR TREAT!!" and checking out those uber cool decos.

*Fighting these memories to go insane.

I'm bored. Stuck at home the whole day. Well, considering the fact that the weather was nice today(chilly, wet and I'm under a roof), it made me a little less tense. Wouldn't say it was yet another wasted day cos I did a reasonable amount of math and chem today. Econs stink!! I got bored in between so I decided to take out clothes that were too long and I'm going to bring it for alteration. Soon. Hahahaha.
One thing wasted was that, I didn't get to snuggle with my bears and snooze the afternoon away. Maybe I should be a polar bear so I can hibernate during winter, i.e now. No wait.. Do they even hibernate? They do right? White, fat and lazy animals all hibernate.
This is a retarded post cos I'm feeling retarded now. What's new.
Bf: You know what? I have no idea why we're so hyped on finding out more about those things. If you think about it, I've been there, done that. So have you. So why ah?? You always give me the sai gang to do la.. Wait till I feed you with shit.
Lets talk about SI. I'm sooo glad Chris is out. Like finally. Taking up space in the contest only. Plus, his singing isn't that great either. Stupid girls who voted cos he's supposedly cute?! Okay. He's just not the kinda guy who would catch my eye.
Sometimes, just sometimes, I wish that people wouldn't do things cos they feel obliged to. Since there's an absence of sincerity, I don't see the point in putting on that big fake smile. Doing outta courtesy? Guilt? Or maybe cos they just wanna get rid of that naggy voice in their head? Forget it! These people ought to drown in their own lies.
I'm off. Feel like mugging again.
This was my singalong song back in sec 1. x)

*Let's take a chance on a happy ending,
Let's turn the page and stop pretending.
The past can stop a heart from mending,
It's time to let go cos baby you know
Some things are better best forgotten.

I've finally uploaded the pictures. The link is at the side.
I realised something. I lack examination luck. I'm sure it exists, and I'm even more sure that I lack it. Period. Ah whatever, this is the bad start to the A levels.

*I've got the bait, but I seem to have lost the prey.

Biatch!!! I supported your boredom website and guess what? That stupid website changed my whole impression of Kate Beckinsale; that pretty hot mama. She has stretch marks on her boobs?? Now what's with that? It isn't some kind of nasty camera trick right? I mean, who the fuck has stretch marks on their boobs!!! That's like so ewwww??? Go see go see.

Has the pre-exam fever gotten into you? Seems like everyone is becoming more kao peh, edgy, incoherent and pissed. I am of no exception of course. Gfs, if only we could relac one kornerrr laa
I think I might just hafta take my exams in Woodbridge.
Clara said this on her testimonial for me:
"i've since gained weight.
but my love for you will never change."
Mo, and the link is????????
Aye.. I miss seeing T.C.T.R, I miss pinching Sexy's fats but I don't miss Sexy. x)
I was just thinking, the happiest moment in my life (for now) would be to wake up with all my 6 AFs beside me in Hawaii. We'll go tan by the beach all day long, oogling at surfer dudes, drinking whatever exotic drinks they have there and then go shorrrrrrrrpingggggg in a convertable, blasting the stereo and the song would be "Making my way downtown, walking fast, faces passed and I'm home bound.." (last part was ripped from White Chicks). But I'm sure my girlies love my idea no matter how cheesy it sounds right? *iLu darlings.
If I grow old and senile, one thing will still be etched in my memory and never be forgotten. The AF reigns forever.

Smth I ripped from Ness's site.
E'An:
You have a need to communicate and express yourself. You are inclined to over intellectualize, and hate to be misquoted. You have much enthusiasm with a driving attitude toward achievement in life. You can handle details well. You have a methodical mind.
See:
Status is important to you and your ability to achieve success and earn money. You have a need to be noticed and seek status. You need to learn to be expressive. You are a person who cannot tolerate being misunderstood.

What more can I say.. Go try it for yrself click here

*If I could fall
Into the sky
Do you think time
Would pass me by
'Cause you know I'd walk
A thousand miles
If I could
Just see you
Tonight

Dear visitors,
Pls refrain from utilising my tag board because we have a very special guest called anonymous. Just sit back, relax and listen to his silent speech. Apparently, he has taken up much of his not so precious time to give this talk. If there is a must, you can contact me on my handphone. And it'll be rude for me to remove my tag board when the guest is speaking.
Yours sincerely,
E'an

Loud music has therapeutic power.
Idiotic assholes piss me off badly. They claim that they voice out their opinions and challenge the authority. Fuck you. You have always been a meek individual and it'll always stay that way. Just cos the discussion didn't go too well and your cash provider is giving you the cold shoulder doesn't mean that you've tried your best. You ought to find a more accurate definition of trying your best.
I haven't been getting any fuckin single cent ever since I had the major dispute with my dad 2 weeks back and I don't even give a damn. Some crap on the other hand, had just stop speaking normally to the parents and is making a big fuss, feeling guilty. MY GOD. Grow up la.
Your crazy mofo folks have psychoed you into believing that talking to the opposite sex is wrong. A taboo. A sin. Unless it's discussion with regards to academic work. Even with that, they're constantly lurking nearby, hoping to catch you red handed when you speak of something else. Conversations must never include the definition of the male species, i.e "him", "he" or any male names. As a result, "him" becomes "her", getting me all bloody confused with the conversation. Sissy names would also have to be given to hide the identity of the guy.
Who's fault is it? Yours. Not your parents. You chose to oblige and go along with what mommy and daddy say even NOW. I'm not trying to say you're suppose to oppose everything they say. But it's high time you ought to start thinking for yourself, having a life of your own. Not spend an indefinite amount of time, doing what your parents expect of you. What's the difference being 18 and being 8? Being 18 means you go to your parents for advice when the road ahead seems bleak. Being 8 means you listen to your parents cos what they say must be right(at that point of time). You obviously live in a 18 year-old's body, with intelligence of an 18 year-old, but other than that, you're still 8. It's obvious.
Are you telling me you're gonna let mommy dear control your life to the extent of choosing where you're gonna study, who and when you can date? Grow your backbone and stop being so dependant. It's you, who will suffer in time to come. I'm saying this blatantly and I don't care. People who know me well will also know that I speak from my heart. Can't take criticisms? Too bad for you. I thought you already knew me well enough.
I hate it when people come up to me asking, "who are you refering to in your post?" It's my blog. I say what I want and I don't have to answer to anyone but myself. Gossipy news can be shared. This isn't gossip. So I appreciate you give me my privacy. How ironic. It's meant to be private and yet, it's posted black and white on my blog.
I'm just disappointed at the fact that my plans have to be burnt. Cos of some spastic shit who thinks that she's still "my baby girl".
Don't take this as a personal attack. I never meant it that way.

*Up yours
Stop your whine
Feelin' swell
And I'm doin' fine
Yeah fuck your suicide
It's all bullshit 'cause I tried
And it really don't impress me all that much
->Goo Goo Dolls, *smile*

I see no wrong in reminiscing. It's a sign of acknowledging whatever that happened, be it good times or bad. Some people are just too self absorbed. They wrap themselves in their cocoon, telling themselves the world revolves only around them and that the past doesn't deserve any respect.(Of course unless it's about boasting about "that time when I achieved this and that") That's total bull. I say you're just plain selfish.
It doesn't seem to make any sense. How do you expect us to learn and rectify mistakes made, or to be grateful that you were once on cloud #9 and not take things for granted, if we didn't think about the past?
Our memory serves more purpose other than trying to cram facts and informations.
All the countless happy moments while in slackerdom didn't just happen for entertainment. The backstabbing, cat fights, arguments etc, have a story to tell.
Typical mentality would be to keep the good memories and ditch the bad ones. What for? That's just living in self denial. Just before you close your eyes for the last time, majority of us psycho ourselves into thinking that our live has been meaningful, sweet, fine and dandy. Why? Cos we choose to chuck all that nasty moments into one dark and dusty corner at the back of our heads. It'll be a sin to even think about it. It's better to live a life without any regrets, trails and tribulations. Stupid people with stupid thinking. Imbeciles.

*If it makes you happy, it can't be that bad

First things first, my biatch did up my blogskin. Many thanks to you darl! *iLu -muaah-
Fatigue and restlessness. Seemingly unable to sit down and find peace and solace in what is required of me now. In search of food constantly. Oh shut up. It's like my appetite has grown to that of a boy's. How disgusting. 5 bars of kit-kat, 7 chocolate chip cookies, 1 sitck of ice-cream and I had to stop myself from reaching that can of coke. Just 1 hour before dinner, mind you. The fats are pilling and my Hot Sweat regime has somewhat come to a standstill. Whatever. Maybe that is what I need; to make me concentrate better and hopefully, achieve those abs.
I've been deceived. Always thought that it'll only happen to people who cheat. So since I don't fall into that category, why me? Obviously there are a trillion questions that'll be unanswered in one's lifetime. I'll have to create my own deluded version now. The bad karma that I've accumulated over the past 6 years or so definitely has a part to play. Other than that, I don't think I'm as evil, scheming, masked and fake. Ah.. Perhaps it's a blessing in disguise.(fine eg. of deluding oneself)
Living in darkness alone for a week. x) Although it's a tad bit too late now. Imagine the euphoria I would have felt back then. Perfect timing too. Nonetheless, I get to invite only my shadow and morbid thoughts over for company. No one else. Just me, myself and I. But, those trailers for The Grudge seem to have an adverse effect on me.
I race against time to jump onto my bed once I switch off the lights. Exactly 1.5 steps. Fearing something is lurking beneath my bed, arms reaching out to grab my ankles. And when I lie on my bed, I try not to look up. Just in case. The little girl's fear back then was just about the supernatural. The notsolittle girl's fear now, includes more than just the supernatural. Go figure.
For all the lies I've tasted
Just looking for the truth
For all the dreams I'm chasing
Well what am I to do?
When everything's against me
And the answers are all wrong
I'm hoping that I'll find out
It was worth it all along...

*The taste of rust. My blood.

Saturdays. I used to look forward to them. A day when I can wake up relatively late and not get fucked. A day when I can just laze around till mid afternoon, get a little studying done and then it's out for dinner at night. Occasionally, I get to leave the house and do whatever with whoever. Today, it just sucked.
The bloody mofo is now officially part of us. I was cringing throughout the whole damn ceremony. The place was fucked up. So much for wanting the thing to be "special" and "unique". Go eat shit balls. Apparently I wasn't the only grouchy one. My big sis came uber late and started cussing non-stop. "Stupid idiots.. choose this kinda fucked up place for what? The car park was so fucking far away and yadayadayada". Obviously not in front of them. Seriously la.. this is Singapore. Not Hawaii. What on earth were they thinking???? The deed is done. I'm not happy. Neither is my big sis. Both of us ought to start thinking of a name for our anti-them club. Period.
A totally irrelevant topic here. Just to add on, I think graduation day allows you to know who's been wanting to know you for god knows how long. I might want to retract what I said about sji guys being nice. Nonono. The ones that I've known for a long time are nice. *thinks* ya.. all of them are nice. Known for a long time meaning friends. Not acquaintances. Those that pop out from nowhere requesting for this and that are freaky. Poor swan. She's worse off. Poor co-op guy. Got rejected straight in the face. Hahahhahaha. A sudden inflow of messages from unknowns via friendster. What's with this world?!
It's breeding freaks. Duh!
Everyone seems to be in a mugging mood. I should too. Bye bye.

*Return of the fucky'godma.
Freaks galore. Cerina and the fucky'godma(aka annie). Debs went blog hopping and it's her lucky day. Let your eyes feast on shit! Her ass is just...
click here

Emo. Cos of the graduation day in a few hours time. No. Not sad about leaving the school. In fact, I'm as elated as a girl who's offered a cola lollipop. Ok. I was given a lolly just now but let's not divert.
It's more so cos of the friends. Isn't that what all the non-freaks would say? As much as cj being a hellhole/shithole/craphole etc, the people here simply rock! Well, at least I don't perceive the school as being a society, unlike other jcs. Of course I'll miss my gfs. I don't know whether we'll still keep in contact after 1 year. People do drift apart, I'm aware of that. Then there's the whole empty feeling cos all the guys would be in NS. That sucks too. And as much as I say that I hate the sji guys(sounds familiar?), I seem to have an affinity with them. Since sec 3, there were sji guys in tuition classes. Spending 2 years in cj made me hate them even more. Hur hur. Perhaps it was caused by the sole bad experience I had back in j1 that tormented me so damn much. But I'm forgiving. x) I guess they're not that bad afterall. I was blinded by prejudice. But all's good now. I think.
It's scary to think of the future. Were the friendships forged during the 2 years for real? Or were they just there to give us a reason to go to school; to bitch, to rant, to joke, to fight..? And that after the A levels, is it bye bye forever until we meet again somewhere?
Damnations.
Unfinished business I might put it. So many things to say to people but just can't do so. Why? Cos I have my pride. So everyday, I just keep practising my speech in my head. Pretending that a real conversation is going on. I'm highly self deluded as you can see.
These few days without my gfs in school wasn't good but it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Gave me time to be alone. At least I didn't have to rush down to the canteen to give them hugs and whatnot. So it's been the 2 fuckers and I for the 2 days. And of course my trusty boobs buddy, Daph.
Inveighing against people. What's your stand? I used to support that idea with a capital S but now, it's just plain stupid. Unless of course you're dealing with the ahneh in my class.
Aiya.. enough of this already. Nostalgia isn't quite the word.
Lemme just say this. If I ever die a sudden death, pls don't rule out lizards as the prime suspect ok? Those fuckin creeps are EVERYWHERE. There's one without a tail living in my room and I got a fuckin shock just now when I was opening the window. It was right beside my palm. Goddamn those pests. Did I mention, there's this HUGE one living behing the tv downstairs? It looks like a snake for sure. Its head is the size of the first segment of my thumb. No, they're absolutely NOT CUTE AT ALL. Those psychos who work with reptiles and amphibians in the zoo must be mental.
One last thing. I cannot stand the thought of sharing the same scent as the pigeon. It's like being associated to.. the Land Of Dirties!!!

*Memories, not the past.

Major revamp needed. The fuckin computer, blogskin and basically every non-living thing that I'm in contact with. Some day when I've mustered enough courage(and not regret my actions), I swear I'll pick up the monitor and smash it against the wall. The fonts are ugly. The resolution sucks. And I can't do fuck shit about it cos some smart ass is in control of this whole system. And it's not me.
Persistent problems with everyone. Now I only have 20 bucks to survive for I dunno how long. Blogging has lost it's appeal, hence the irregular blogging. Of course I've been getting work done. That's like the only thing I'm satisfied with so far. Hah.
Even in school, my blood boils. The fuckin ahneh behind me makes so much fuckin noise it's driving me nuts and so does the incompetent chem teacher of mine. Steps into class with a face blacker than mine, saying that he's super busy trying to print solutions for us. Mind you, they can be found behind every goddamn tys. I told him off subtly. Hopefully his command of the English language is good enough to fathom my sarcasm. Not like mine is up there. So if he doesn't, he must really suck. He's bound to get sacked soon. But he's not the main prob. The ahneh is.
The fucktard and I cannot get by one day peacefully.i.e, no bitching in tamil/whatever language on her part and me bitching back in chinese,hokkien or simply calling her a fucker in her face. Her side kick is like how gross and dirty! Make that both. They don't wash their hair everyday, their socks are grey(originally white pls), uniform looks like it got dumped in the rubbish chute and they only went to retrieve it 1 week later. Don't let me go on about the whole attitude and stinkiness. The stench is just simply unbearable.
I know I shouldn't be bearing so much grudge and hatred since school's officially ending on friday. But. There's no but. Shut up.
All she does is talk to her bf(or so we assume)on the phone, takes off her socks and shoes in class, speaks in a barely audible tone and then end up crying. Spare me the drama. Whoever is sloppy and absolutely filthy cannot be my friend.
Yeah. I sound like some brat thinking that the whole world's yearning to be her friend. Seriously, do you want a dirty friend? Make that dirty, smelly, irritating and speaks even faster than tricia and I combine. No right? So keep those comments to yourself.
It's not good to pretend. No it isn't. It brings about awkwardness. Isn't it so troublesome to bring the mask everywhere you go? So, unless I value the friendship alot alot alot, I won't bother acknowledging your presence. Just like that ahneh and her side kick and many others. I just love my AFs and some of the non ahneh girlies in my class. And a few other guys. Not that fatfuck whose name starts with a T, or that psycho j1 "stalker" who's morphing into someone. Scary shit.
Basket case here. Pardon me.

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
But no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
-Simple Plan:Welcome to my life-

BITCH FIT!!
People who can't spell basic words properly should just piss off FARRRRR away from me. The same goes for those who alternate between caps and small fonts. Don't they just irritate the constipated shit outta your anus?! I almost forgot. Piangsters included. My God. What's with bad english?! You're forgiven if you tried to speak well but failed.
Lemme give you the definition of a piangster.
1. Speaks with "den hor", "lor!!!", "leh!!" and "worZ" in every sentence.
2. Mispronounce elementary words like "children" as "chew-ren", "MRT" as "M-ah-rer-Tee", "orange juice" as "or-leng jooze", the letter "R" as "ah-rer" etc.
3. Wears Harijuku style and end up looking so goddamn uncool.
4. Still using IRC.
5. Using nicknames like "xIaOgUrL-insertlast2digitsofbirthyear-", "xIaoBoI-insert2digit'code'-", "LoNelYgErGeR" or similar fuckshit nicknames.
6. Is an ardent fan of 5566, F4, Energy and fellow poseur boybands.
7. Uses neon construction paper as words, with black background as the "thing" you bring to a concert. Words like " -insertnameofsinger-, WO MEN YONG YUAN ZI CHI NI!!!" are pasted on it.
8. Calls the radio station esp 933 or 91.3, dedicating songs to friends like Sandy, Meiting, Yvonne, Benson, Johnson, Derrick, Calvin(beng's spelling) or any name you deem lianish/bengish.
9. Dedication that goes something like "Hi. My name ish meechelle and I will want to dedicate the next sorng to ............. tanks! -insertradiostation- rocks man!"
10. Limp and flat rebonded hair for girls/gel that is smeared all over the hair, flattening it. Either that, or it's spiked up sky high. ps:hair is all of the same length, doing an impersonation of Bart Simpson. Excuse me, ever heard of wax or clay?!
11. Take neo-prints with the "peace" sign and one leg lifted.
12. Absolutely adores japanese anime, often using them as blogskins.
13. Combs with a sharp end is a must when going out. Better to show the end sticking out of the pockets of some cheapo jeans.(subtle signal to rival gang->don't mess with me cos I've got a weapon; my comb)
14. For girls, one must constantly whip out the pocket mirror to check if she needs to touch up on her makeup. The more foundation slapped on the face, the better it is. Afterall, looking pale and sickly is "in".
15. Going under the sun is a definite nono. No choice? Use sunscreen with SPF 75. Loads of it.
Err.. I think I just went off tangent. From piangsters to bengs/lians. But if you think again, most piangsters are lians/bengs. So there.
Can imagine?! Please don't assume that I'm condemning my own race. People who speak proper mandarin(w/o the lahs, lors, and whatnot) and listen to Jay Chou's music aren't piangsters. (i.e, me) Hur hur.
Whatever. I'm done with the bitching. Suddenly, I feel thankful that I'm not stuck in some pianged-up junior college. And I'm certain my gfs share the same sentiments.

*I had this wonderful dream. It felt so real. But as I've said, it's a dream.

The waves came leaping towards their feet, kissing the biscuit coloured sand before retreating back into the unknown. Now, fresh foot prints are embedded in the moist sand whilst the couple continued walking in the direction of sunset.
I feel inspired to write a story. I miss writing stories and those cheesy poems. Those were my secondary school days. That aside.
I was just wondering too, how come guys get turned on so easily? It's like seeing a hot girl with her *oops* butt crack exposed is enough to bring about an erection. ??? I don't see us having a.. What's the female term for erection? Ok. Whatever the term is, you people get the gist right? Yeah.. no such thing when some hot guy's boxers can be seen. Or even hot bod. We don't drool and poke each other saying "check out that guy's body!!" At least not my sane friends. Perhaps the shorty with her whore-like PDA in the foyer would do just that. In fact, more often that not, some tard who sits in front of me during math lecture somehow always expose his boxers. I've seen like 3 already?! Ewww. And I just end up in hysterical fits. I can't remember which guy told me that guys who engage in vigorous sports always wear underwear. Is that true? I only know of a handful. Not enough for me to believe that claim though. Heh. Yeah.. so like what my significant other half said, why are they so interested in porn? It's like i-need-my-daily-dose-of-porn-please. (black) Aaron was asking if I saw the 47 min clip on Paris Hilton having sex. No. I saw the lousy 3 min one.(I think the 47 min one is a fake.) Besides, he was totally enthralled with the guy's dick. Just cos Paris used both hands to grip. According to him cos I can't remember. What lingers in my memory is her facial expression screaming "I AM BORED TO HELL!!" You know, more like just-hurry-up-and-get-over-and-done-with-it. WELL, I do not wish to think further as to why Aaron was so fascinated ya? And I shall stop this discussion cos I can hear my girls going "E'an!!! You're so sick!!!" Except *siao. I think. x)
Some people can blog excellent stuff which are thought provoking. Stuff that make you stop, ponder and re-read again and again. Keeps my rusty brain functioning. x) Others just prefer doing "dYz AnD tHaTzZ" or "hOw sIaNzZ mAnZ!"->Major turn off. Then there are others who say the funniest things accompanied with role play in my head which makes it more interesting. That was a random bit.
There are major changes going on during tutorials now. For once, I think Khoo is becoming more bearable. Maybe cos she's stopped picking on me or maybe she's so impressed with my semi-accurate psychic powers that she's all smiles now when she sees me. She's no longer witchy-khoo but erm.. nvm. I'll be nice.
Oh.. very important lesson learnt today. You can never be sure if the person seated next to you in class/lectures/the canteen is your friend. Harmless bitching is ok. Telling others about how you RUB-a-dub-dub.... hmmmm
Sheesh.. My posts are becoming increasingly banal aren't they?

This was what I found in the dictionary the other day. Biatch, you can relate to it right? Think "fruit", "yellow skin", "tropical".
*Banana: a long curved tropical fruit with a yellow skin.

mosielohsee, you'll never imagine me saying this in a trillion years but, I was really touched to see our cheesy smiles in your wallet. Yeah.. even if it's right beside "lift me up". You're still a very horrible girl though.(you know what I mean) I am still trying to forgive and forget. Remain that composure and don't go "WHATTTTTTTTTT?!". And many apologies for biting your already fleshless arm. I'll help you massage the blueblacks away and pick the scabs off the scar. Blame my nails. Heh. But you must understand I was in a ultra bad mood today and I needed to somehow release the pent up frustration. You'll be understanding and forgive me right? Lubchiu

All the pain in your heart,
All the tears in your empty soul
And when you're spinnin' round and around
Im the psycho goin' outta control

Yup yup. Call me crazy, insane, random and perhaps some fucker who yearns for attention. I can't be bothered.
I wanna do something different for once. To stop following those silly rules(whatever they are) that have made singaporean kids so afraid to do almost anything different. Everyone leads a sheltered life when compared to the kids in the 3rd world country. Fight for world disaster. HA HA HA. When I grow balls la!The whole idea of conforming to this psycho system is boring me to death. Take education as an example. Young Singaporean kids only know how to regurgitate answers during exams. Melvin was just telling me the reason why he could score for chemistry w/o doing tys was cos cj's style of setting the papers is for students to memorise like fuck and hopefully be able to vomit out answers, word by word. Give us some question that is slightly twisted and we're fucked.
I'm even afraid to challenge myself. That's how pathetic I've becomed. The environmental factors should be blamed. Though I'm quite clueless to which factor to point my finger at.
I tell you, the whole random-disease has transformed into a physical form. Listen to this. I was eating lunch, got up half way, walked upstairs to switch on the computer, went to my usual sites, went toilet to pee, went back downstairs to eat for 5 mins, came up and stoned on my bed before proceeding to use the comp again........ Wtf?! Do I qualify to enter the guiness world records for being the most random person in the world??
Anyway, I'm pleased cos I completed one econs essay. Quite hyped to go see mrs kuah to do econs mcq tmr. No I'm serious. I'm determined not to fail econs for A levels.
My skin's like a battle field. Urgh

*Bruised fingers.

Just realised the booboo mistake made, only today and believe me, I didn't give the instruction. Don't want this to develop into another misunderstanding.

Someone has been MIA for wayyy too long and obviously, that someone is very much missed by me. Get your ass back within 5m radius of me so I can see you!! Period.
The anxiety and adrenaline rush, ahhhh.. Is anyone more afraid than I am? Getting back the rest of the results that is. Though I have pretty much predicted the grades. Okok, I know what you people are thinking and I'll shut up already!!
Sometimes, I'm really glad that I choose not to bring that nasty gadget out with me. It is a evil thing although I might beg to differ at times. But today, I'm proud I went out without it. (Spares me the guilt of not answering some calls when I feel the vibration.) Like I said, the smses I've been receiving lately are just pure crap. They make me cringe and barf. Stop sending those stupid forwarded messages already! Those cutesy bears or kawaiineh creatures, accompanied by cliched statements are not appreciated. For God's sakes, if you're just sending it for the sake of wasting your free smses, then stop it. Hello... Like you're not even sincere to begin with. Plus, I see you every single day, what's with the "i miss you" or "friends like you are hard to come by". Just go away already. Don't mean to sound mighty angsty here but an overdose of such stuff seem to cause the involuntary movement of rolling my eyes.
Guys who are indecisive and need constant reassurance that their plan to do whatever girl related thing, is gonna be just fine, has the same effect on me.
(refer to above paragraph) I'm a friend, not your personal planner that gives you step by step instructions. Idiots.
Sorry people. Blame it on the 2nd stage of pms, i.e, during the course of.
Seeing my gfs tmr hopefully. The prom's gonna be a blast with all of you! x) *siao, you promised to share your Green. But no diu-diu-diu techno k? Hahaha.

*The complexity of a girl's brain.. I can't even decipher my thoughts sometimes.

*Senseless bitching says:
i got a feeling i'll really remain an old hag
tricia* says:
can u not be so pessimistic?
tricia* says:
ure too young to determine whether u'll remain an old hag lah
*Senseless bitching says:
it's like a calling..
tricia* says:
so wat?
tricia* says:
u gonna become a nun?
tricia* says:
spastic lah gf
*Senseless bitching says:
no la.. i'll just end up teaching econs in cj.

The reason why there is a msn conversation going on is because I'm not using my PC.
Ok whatever.. Fuckin hot and pissed and itchy now. Damn those fuckin chairs in far east. NEVER EVER SIT ON THEM IN SKIRTS.

It's amazing to see how much people can mature over the span of one year. Writing, thinking and analytical skills. But I admit. What I saw kinda made me sad. Not unhappy sad but more of the nostalgic sad. The innocence back then was genuine. The straight-foward and more often than not acid-tongue kinda talk now, is also genuine. What happened??
I'm quite scared now actually. Can't really tell what is it exactly cos it's more like a general thing. Just make an assumption on smth that you might think that I'm afraid of and you're most probably right.
Plus I don't feel good around people these few days. I don't even joke with swan anymore. Everytime I speak to her, (be it face to face or via sms) it's always on serious stuff like how to solve that mind boggling question that chua bee bah is discussing. In the morning, I just stare blankly at the open space in front, oblivious to anyone or anything. Don't talk or joke with my gfs anymore cos I'm always in a bad mood when I go for assembly. Lack of sleep maybe. I'm feeling tired constantly. I walk around like a living dead. I hate to deal with this again. Again, cos it happened before.
Walking home poses a potential danger of being knocked down by a oncoming vehicle. I cross the road whilst in a daze. Of course I'm not being all suicidal here. It's just that my mind has lost it's ability to focus. My fingers are always longing to switch on that nasty button on the CPU and the monitor. As a result, my studying has to be procrastinated yet again. Why am I behaving like this? Lets just say my old foe is back to visit and I'm succumbing to its nonsense.
It's good to let go of things and get back your cheery ol' self. Too many obligations and responsibilities will cause a mental breakdown one day. I'm just waiting to see when will it be my turn.

*I still can remember everything.

Next week's O.C is a MUST WATCH. Okay. Maybe I'm the only sua ku one who hasn't watched the entire show since downloading has made everything possible. All those paedophillic nonsense b/w luke and juls.. hmmm.. It's the only show that can make a cold and lonely night(like today),feel good. Besides, yeah.. besides.
Saturdays are no longer days for sleeping in. Damn the school. Whatever happened to the 5 day working week?! Just do away with all those morale lowering mocks and make everyone happy. Gp this coming sat, heard that there's chem the next saturday. wtf!!! Totally not forgetting the practical mock later on. Why the name mock? Maybe for us to make a mockery of ourselves. But then again, mock exams make me open my book.
So there. I failed my econs mcq. What's new. Had a mad teacher hollering at whoever who was listening, along the corridoor. "CANNOT EVEN DO 50% OF THE QUESTIONS?! STAY BACK EVERY THURSDAY AND FRIDAY TO DO MCQ!!" Bummer! Yeah. So I was one of the idiots who was listening. Some people just aren't born to do econs. I fall into that category.
Righto. Last minute revision for tmr's mock. I'm crossing my fingers and hoping that the design question wouldn't make me go HUH??? Bye world!