I'll never trust stupid SAF medics when it comes to meddling with my veins. That piece of gay fuck shit caused so much anxiety in me cos he couldn't find the vein and was desperately trying to shift that HUGE needle around in my arm. Though I was too terrified to look, (no thanks to that hum sup lou physics teacher who was telling everyone to look at my expression), I could sense that, that fuck shit didn't know what he was doing.
There I was, having fainting spells and wanting to barf, and stupid teong(whom I psychoed into donating blood) was happily smirking away. You bitch!!!
Barely filled 1/4 of that small packet and the needle had to be taken out. Yup. With much embarrassment and there's the huge bruise to remind me of that horrid incident.
It was a major let down. I was utterly psyched up to donate blood! My first experience of donating blood was good. Minor pain and the flow of blood was just like cars at 10km/hr. That is fast for blood flow.
If I never manage to get over my phobia of donating blood, it's no thanks to that stupid fucker. To think I wanted to do a good deed after so long.
Damnit!

*My sugar rush

I survived the traumatizing mock exam
Joleen Loh, you really know how to pick the correct timing to call me sial. They just collected our scripts and then your name came flashing on my hp. Sorry if I sounded weird. All that stress and fatigue and late nights have taken its toll on me. But it felt good after I wrote nonsensical ramblings on my paper.
Hahaha. I felt the same way I did after my mid yr. The same ol' feeling. I'm darn sure I'll get the same ol' marks. But its ok. I've learnt from my mistakes. That's why I didn't bother to study at all.
Instead, I decided to make a complete ass outta myself. x)
Anw, I sincerely hope the school can provide students with lab coats during practical lessons just like how they provide us with ugly goggles. Maybe only then can I stop showing off to the public that I deal with chemicals?! I have one set of bleached uniform. FA5 and FA7. I hate you, fuckers!
It's a thursday tmr. Remember what I said about thursdays? Yep. They suck. I'll be having endless dates with saggy tits. First thing in the morning and last thing before I leave hell hole.
Whatever Beaver.
There's much unaccomplished work waiting for me. Dreadful!

*Blowing flying kissies across the lecture theatre shall now be my hobby.

The econs mock can jolly well just kiss my arse. The motivation to begin with, was never there. Or rather, I lost the whole motivation shitbit after I got back my results that were too painful to look at. Everyday is just a "hahaha" kinda cheesy day. The cursed library with the grouchy librarians will officially be part of my daily routine. The same ol' ppl. The inseperable 3 of us, vics, teong, shaun, joel, jin wei, tsui, amanda and crashers. I can't think. I'm suffering from major fatigue. I wanna sleep till next week and then wake up for the career talk.
The whole *lulu bit was crap. I hate being crappy and I'm being a prick cos that's what I'm doing. Amanda shall be my new partner.in.spy. We love hiding behind books, giggling till the fuckin librarians throw us that infamous glare, looking at *lulu. Mo as usual, is always slow. You bitch!
Bf, I love you and I'll bring you tidbits to your corner. I'm anti librarians. Esp that cheena one with the big hair. The grudge against her for chasing me outta the library cos I was in pe attire is still there. Revenge is the word. I'm tired. I hate cj.

*Get me some stockings.

Jogging took my breath away. Literally

Crystle biatch! I miss you. Oh yes I do. I wanna eat Buffalo Wings with you and imitate the fucking waiters with "Hi! Welcome to Freaks!"-"Thank you, seeyouagaiiiinn" I wanna hear your shrilly laughter hahahahiakhiakhiak That's how you actually "laugh". I wanna go on our postpostpost Chocalate Buffet with the AFs. I wanna look like a dorky whore and you like a nerdy prostitute. *think The Bags* I wanna get mightyhigh with you, boozing whilst Mo and Bf just roll their eyes. But no more Irish Cream lame jokes pls! Maybe we can cut down on the booze. They make me feel sick. I wanna go sun tan with you minus Rain Goddess. Hahahha. Fuck! Why did u have to leave for poly! But gfs are forever. iLu sweets!

Honestly speaking, I can't be bothered to give a damn about your life and if your mother wants to take the mrt to wherever even if she drives. Quit updating me about your miserable life cos what's over is over. 3 smses sent replied to you this month. Count your lucky stars. I was determined to keep a clean record and hopefully, strike your name off from the calender list. Which I will. Definitely. I really hate you. Don't bother to talk to me anymore. Treat this as the last favour I'm asking from you. If you haven't already noticed, I'm avoiding you like an epidemic
This post might sound childish but my hatred for that stupid fucker is as much as integrating from -infinity to +infinity; hate.dh

*I hate players for as long as I live. Motherfuckers.

I fell asleep with a smile on my face and woke up with one too. x)
There's hardly any reason why I should be complaining about my nights for the past week or so. Yeah. Even softball was fun!(I played it during pe. Not at night) Though I nearly fainted just running from 2nd to 3rd base. Go ahead and laugh. My physical condition has dropped to 6 feet under. This calls for Operation Hot Sweat tomorrow.
Attended my new chemistry tuition class. Felt bloody slow with people from the tops beside me, answering questions on Ionic Equilibria with such zeal and enthusiasm. I felt like burying myself instead. At least Kristie was on par with me. Cj's standard is just lousy. Perhaps I would join my bf in studying. Not everyday of course. That'll be just way sad. Anw bf, you're really lucky that bp didn't ask you to withdraw from A levels or worse still, demote you. But I'm darn proud of you, initiating to study on your own.
Bf, x)))))))))))))))) i.am.happyhappy.
Overused the smileys but I hardly use them. Another paradoxical statement. Go figure.
Anyway ppl, I've just changed my mobile plan to the iOnePlus. Damn value for money. Next time just call me cos it's free incoming the whole day. The problem is, when everyone switches to iOnePlus, who's gonna make the calling??!

*Elated to the core and back to the crust

I swear my computer is one fucked up box!
Never mind about that.
Khoo's exasperated look was indeed a classic. Should have seen her face when I asked to be excused. Like right when she was happily going through shits about the qualities of being a global citizen. -rolls eyes- So that was 15 mins of freedom during gp tutorial. I was camping in the creepy science lab toilet. Yuppers. I suspect the chinese medication I've been taking is some sorta of detox programme. Hahaha. Not complaining, much. At least I know who to msg when I get stuck in the creepy place again. x)
2 kinds of ppl get on my nerves. The wannabes/smartalec/bigtalkers and those who misuse their authority. Just like the one I mentioned above. Hur hur..
And thanks to my weekly econs mcq test that lasts for 1 hr, I lost my one and only chance of catching my long awaited movie. Wednesdays, Thursdays and my weekends suck. I'm constantly tied down by school related stuff and it's getting on my effed nerves!
Everything happens for a reason. And in a way, I'm glad that the situation got worse. Cos if it hadn't, then I wouldn't learn to appreciate the happyhappy present.
Piglety bastards should just go screw themselves in the ass. Maybe Peter might offer some help with the poking.
That was random. But I had to say it. Period.
It's a long day tmr. I've got double khoo and every tutorial and lecture on the subjects that I take. I hate Thursdays. I really really do. I'd rather choose Wednesdays with practicals. It's rather fun anyway. Minus the part that I'm never able to complete the experiments on time, that I find it so tedious to climb up Mt Everest and lastly, to receive responses like "oh.... it's you again" by that stupid fuck of a Eugene. I was being nice by saying hi ok. Not like I say hi to everyone like some desperate fuckshit wannabe popular bitch!
No grudges against that guy cos I was in a gooooood mood today. If I had been suffering from my pre/post-ms, I'll make sure he'll never get to enjoy father's day.
To end this entry, it was a traumatic experience with smokeycoffee smell lingering on my blouse the whole day. I was quite certain that I was gonna die of the smoke. I hate the smell of fags. But I love playing hide and seek with the smoke when thong/lampa starts on his nonsense.

*;)

Yuck.
First thing I saw when I went a certain someone's blog was bad enough to make me regurgitate my gastric juices.(That's cos I haven't eaten anything since 630am. Besides Haribo sweets, Mentos Mint and a cup of Ribena). Plus, I visited the loo halfway during that dreadful performance. Mo looked uber hot though. *woof whistles* x)
Ok, went off tangent a little over there. Lemme get back to what I was saying. Perhaps if I had seen that picture a few months back, it wouldn't be so bad. But it's an entirely different story now. Its more like a EWW!!
That piglety look was unbearable. I'd rather some one just gorge out my eyeballs.
That's not it. Someone's bound to get the retribution soon. So pleased with nipSelf now. The AFs are just awaiting the major downfall. If it ever comes. A little contradiction there, I realised. Fuckit.
Back to the less bitchy part now. Mo looked super hot. Like sizzling hot. Hot enough for me to plant a kiss on her kissable cheeks. *mmmuackkks* Imagine her sashaying in the canteen in this turqoise sari. 3/4 of her super flat and toned stomach was exposed and of course, smiling her alltimefavourite smile. Gorgeous. -I was exaggerating a little- Hahahha. Damn hot la. But screw you mo! You played me out. Fucker!!!
Bf and I looked like peasants next to her. What's new.
Oh ya. Then I met that fucker called Kenji who told me I should be grateful that he cleans the big mirror during maintenance. Why? Cos he knows Mo, Ll-j and I spent alot of time looking in the mirror. That's so not true. Forgot to tell him Ll-j already told me that the other time so he can save his breathe if all he wanted to do was to claim credits.
Bf, though I know you are busy yakking away on the phone in the wee hours of the morning and having a ball of a time talking about slutty issues,but you must still love me. Remember what I told you under The Sari. Don't ever forget the fact that Mr Yeo told Dennis Ang that I was using elastics cos I was trying to be discreet in telling you the Major and my uniform wasn't in place. Whatever you do, it's not confirmed. So don't get fuckin excited. I'll give you Minutes if you want. Hahahah.
More shall be said when I see you tmr. Though we look piaked next to Mo, I'll always love you.
And fi, sorry abt leaning against you this morning. I was fuck tired!
School without lessons are always happyhappy for me.

*-I like the adrenaline rush when I run away from "crashers"-

Ok. Time to reply tags.
Firstly to all, there's obviously something wrong with my blogger cos I can't see those new and efficient stuffs that blogger so-called added. pfft
Sam Toh: Be a bitch and you'll learn to retaliate like a bitch. x)
Ching: YES!!!! I SAW YOU YESTERDAY! And a million thanks for your yummy chocs! Anw, don't get to upset over the photo thing okay?? At least you got MY photo! Hahhaa. btw, guess who I suay suay saw on the bus today! YA!!!! the cousin. *rolls eyes*
godsend: still no idea who you are. hahaha. is there really a flubug going around? Well, I just recovered from it last week.
Debs: WTF!!!! So now they are making use of the friendship to hopefully get a better price to finally start work on their friggin Green House? That's absurd la. But ya. There's always the benefits of your dad taking up the offer. You shall lay some fatal curse in yeah's room. So if he ever brings some cheap slut home, his mom will walk in while they're at it, and he'll suck in bed sooooo much that the girl will run home crying to mama. Hahahaha And of course, get skinned alive by AA. You know what? That fucker just messaged me asking, "eh.. you going for tuition today?" and I was like "no". Yipee!!!!
Teong: Friendster's screwing up on me. I can't see the testimonial still!. Aiya. Forget it. You can tell it to my face and I'll write it down. Heh
Did I mention, I'm happyhappy today. Yes bf! Happyhappy!!!

First things first, cousin, if you're reading this, where on earth did you find the new stuffs that blogger added?! The whole "create post" section has changed. I think there's something wrong with what I'm seeing. No more buttons to bold my words. Hafta type the html thing myself.
Anyway, I find my ability to deal with on-going things with much nonchalence, highly suspicious. I'm still trying hard to decipher the inner-self. It was never easy for me from the start when I got myself into the shitty mess. But it's gonna be over in due time. That, I'm pretty sure.
Excuses will always be excuses. To me, they are lies most of the time and I seriously don't need to hear them now. Whatever happened in the past should just be left as it is. I'm glad that all connections have come to a stand still. It had better remain that way.
My day has been made. x) Although blogging has lost its appeal.
The Hitler show was a big cheat by the way. It left 2 girls utterly disappointed. Right Debs?! But the bitching about Green House and its tenents was obviously funfun! I miss you debs. Yes. ALREADY!!!!

*Spoilt

Has the blogger dashboard thing been changed once again? I can't seem to find the familiar buttons to doll up my letters.
That was random.
It's painful, trying to pause your fingers in mid-air, whilst trying to think of something proper to say. Something that is secret coded(like crystle's) and yet, still be able to get the message across to my darlings. It's hard. Now I can finally understand the dilemma that bf is going through. iLu bf! And just in case mosie starts her whinings about I, not loving her, iLu too mosielohsee!!!
I'm effing tired. But I'm surprised at my ability, of not putting my head on the table despite having only 3hrs15mins of sleep. Let's not go into the details aiight?
*Thong/lam pah makes a great entertainer, bull-shitter, story teller, bitching partner, listening ear, gay, gay friend, bisexual friend, heterosexual friend. Most importantly, a superb late night solace to me. x) Did I just boost your ego?! You're sucha "oh yes" bitch sometimes you know...
Another random: I can't stand fatfucks who goes through a mutual friend to find out more about us. I think they're stupid. No offence to fat people but this prick is seriously getting on my nerves. Worse still, I half suspect he's in my math lecture. I can't really remember his face but I figured it shouldn't be too much of a hassle cos the fatties in school aren't in abundance. What the fuck. And then I thought I saw him in the stupid class. Turns out to be another fat fuck. I maligned the wrong guy. Oops! Paranoia might just be the word. My afs and I have this common phobia. It's still not too bad if they're genuinely nice. But it seems to me that fatfucks are generally irritating. I don't want to generalise but it seems like the case. Go work on your lard before you even try to do anything funny to my swan. I swear he looked fuckin psychotic when he took many glances at swan. Even I was freaked out. I think I better stop bitching about the fatfuck before I get too emotional and personal.
And btw, afs, miss xiasuay is back in action. I embarrassed myself by outraging some guy's modesty. HAHAHHAHAHA. I'll tell you the full details when I meet you guys. Chocolate buffet, crystle's post-bday celebration. WHEN???

*Khoo Guniang is the balls grabber.

Today was good. The dance/singing thing by the ang mohs were one of the best thing the school planned for us this year. I don't care if others thought it was crap ie, Vicky. Hur hur. Bf, mo and I had a wonderful time laughing and enjoying ourselves immensely.
After school was even better. Bf was on a sugar rush and henceforth kept laughing NON-STOP at what I said which wasn't even funny. Really non-stop. It was like from Famous Amos at Wisma all the way to Guess at Takashimaya. Do you find this funny?
"She was 16 in sec 1 cos she went to Girls Home in between and she didn't complete her N levels. In normal tech summore."
No right? I guess my bf just loves my voice too much. So we ate and we talked and we walked and she laughed(alot). Same routine everytime. Made her fuckin paiseh cos we met Phil...
Of course there's always a downfall to every good day. Mine happened during practical. Well, lets just say I had expected the teacher to show more concern towards my pathetic grades. Looks like he gave up on me. I even tried to be good ok! I didn't do my usual stuff like singing an awfully off pitch cheesy love song or quarreling with the lemon chicken cos of different observations. I kept my mouth shut the whole time except to ask impt questions. And I even managed to finish QA on time for the first time! Crap. My dad doesn't wanna turn up for PTM so he sent my sis and mom instead. Right. Period!
Econs lect was boring. Even with my bf on my left and my sleeping loser buddy on my right. It was hilarious. I went into the LT a lil' earlier and there was this guy who went like. "This is the stupid class". Ya. Cos we're banded according to our grades and mine's for the condemned cases. Anyway, so everyone has already acknowledged the fact that we're the in the stupid class.
Oh fuck. This post sounds childish. Pardon me. I'm too elated!

*The bracelet is lost and never to be retrieved. Not like I give a damn anymore, anyway.

I'm just gonna say that after I saw my pathetic results from my self acclaimed mugging, I felt that the whole exam was nothing but a big joke. A joke starring myself, E'An.
Honestly, all that crap mugging for chemistry went down the drain, into the sewer at Ulu Pandan and into the Ocean. Probably on its way to the Mediterranean. Fuck.
Undeserving people shouldn't gloat about their good results because I always have something to counter whatever you say. My marker was a mother fucker of a cheebye who can't even try to be a little lenient, looking at the already pathetic pass rates for chemistry. So there was 3 marks deducted off for not drawing the arrows correctly, another 1 mark off for wrong state symbols, another 2 marks off for no workings(the darn workings are totally irrelevant pls). BIATCH!!!! Minus minus minus. No wonder I got a fuckin E grade!! Sandra Tan can totally kiss her "I want 100% passes for chemistry k?" goodbye.
Bitch, stop smiling to yourself. One day.. Just one day, we're all gonna laugh right back at you. For those pain you caused your friends, for those big time back stabbing, for those times you lied abt not being a closet mugger, FUCK YOU! You'll never be forgiven even if it means that all of us have committed a huge sin. Mark my words, never.
Of course I'm full of angst. You would be too if you were in my shoes and also my darlings'.
Today started off really badly. The flu's still there. I shan't say more.
Bf and mo, pls start motivating each other to study ok?! Bf, I don't want you to end up like your sister. We all gotta start bucking up if we don't want to get this kinda grades for the A's. We don't even have a full cert damnit! Promise ok????
On a totally different note, Swan's got the accurate mouth syndrome. Fuck. I knew I shouldn't have said anything so soon. It just ends up jinxing the whole thing! Thank god it's only today. I doubt I'll even survive the next time I'm faced with the same situation. No meetings on Sundays cos I'm due on Friday.
Charlie's Librarian,not sure if you noticed but my fingers were quivering when he came in. I was like, ya. Exactly what you saw. I know I looked totally anal by smiling, not smiling, with tissues perpetually in my nose, writing. OMG. I'll never wanna end up in this situation again. It's sucha heart attack when Charlie went "Eh **" Why did you think I had sucha major reaction. Hahahahahaha. Screw him. Both of them. Nasty nasty! x)
Bf, Can you pls update me? You never update me anymore. I feel unloved.
-I know that I have a problem with organising my entries. It's all jumbled up. That's why I failed my gp ok?-

*Deluded

LL-j, you're gonna die a horrible death. For what you might ask. Well, you happen to pass that nasty flu shit to me and now I'm sneezing non-stop. My nose has become a leaking faucet. And I don't wanna miss school tmr cos I'll be getting back my dreaded scripts. Yes. Note the paradox of that sentence. ARGHHHH
Charlie's librarian: You'd better be reading this cos it was supposed to be a LIE. Pls remind me never to curse myself saying that I'm sick! Next time, I'll use the lunch appointment excuse and you can say you're sick. Hur hur. I bet Charlie hates us to the core now. I told Wei Li we weren't going so that might mean she won't go either. I mean, who the hell wants to mingle around in Freaks United? So that's that. I'll see you at 6 tmr. *groans*
I can't stand staring at the screen for too long cos my eyes will start to allow water to osmosise through the whatsthatcalled? Cornea? (I completely forgetten all about Biology)
I shall now retreat back into my room and finish up reading Order of the Phoenix the second time. THE SECOND TIME PLS. I wanna start on The Da Vinci Code. Been hearing alot of good reviews and Joleen has been hurrying me to read. So yup. I shall do just that. Goodbye ppl, and goodbye you. Guess I won't be seeing much of *you anytime soon. x)

*I've got a nasty feeling that the new tenants of The Marbella are gonna be one bunch of retarded arses.

I'll take an opposing stand to what steffie said abt the damn Youth Day performance. I was highly bored by the whole damn thing. Not amusing at all. Perhaps I was in one of my highly dangerous mood swing days. Really, I can't believe my temper. I was happyhappy from 8am to 830am and then I started feeling pms-sy all the way till 1230pm. Sorry bf for the stupid attitude. I dunno what got over me either. I think only when laoshi came with the candies, was I only a slightly happier girl. Of course that happiness didn't last long because some fuckin cows seated at the top of the audi were throwing sweets down, hitting people's head? HELLO!! Christmas isn't even anywhere near so stop that Santa thing. I hate hippos that can't swim and of course, giggly, annoying, irritating side kicks.
Chem lect was a total bore. But at least I understood SOMETHING.
Mean Girls was totally rockin'!!! Crystle, hurry go watch it with Clara. Bf and I felt totally damn bitchy after the show. Maybe Matt felt more pimpy?! Go watch!!!
The whole theatre was jam-packed with cjcians(which totally sucked) and ij girls(that totally rocks). And then there was the usual suay-ness cos we bumped into some people that really isn't good for the eye. Cine really shouldn't be ones' fav hangout unless you're out to watch a movie.
I feel damn cheated now. I can't pin-point the reason but it's just it. So this is what 11 days of isolation does to you. You get cheated and feel cheated. Fuckit.

*Biatch!!!

People who are up to no good, trying means and ways to make my life miserable shall be condemned to the 18th level of hell.
During dinner, big sis came over with the baby and my dad's friend was there. Well, something really amusing happened and my second sis was the living joke. Big sis and I had a hard time controlling our laughing fits and so, our bodies were just vibrating silently, in harmony. Until, she stifled a giggle and that was it. I couldn't help but burst out laughing in the typical psychotic way I usually do when something highly amuses me or that I'm laughing at myself. It's the former this time.
The crap excuse big sis gave when everyone gave us quizzical stares was that "oh.. *hahaha* an and I saw Ianna raising her legs. hahahah" Er... Yeah right.
I see that 9 months of pregnancy and 2 months of breast feeding has done permanent damage to her brain. Now, she can't even give simple directions i.e, turn left=go straight etc, and she used to be so quick in thinking of good excuses. Now, I'm sad to say that her title of being a bullshitting queen has to be stripped off, and handed over to me.
So many irrelevant details but the lesson to be learnt is that, Debbie, justice will be done. Humiliation in front of others is merely a small price she has to pay. I'm sure there's more to come.
The weather is friggin good to sleep in and I certainly almost went into lala land during GP again. The cure for this bad habit is to participate. It doesn't really matter if whatever suggestions I come up with are incoherent. I mean I gain nothing from the bitch's lesson anyway. Only Victor sings her praises. Hur hur.
I'm warmly wrapped up in my trusty pullover. It has been with me through thick and thin, i.e, the easy and also the mind boggling papers in the exams. Although I bought a new Roxy sweater, neglecting the current Speedo one by shoving it to the back of my cupboard and burrying it in heaps of old clothes was never my intention.
Is there OC tonight? I missed half the show already anyway.

*If love had been smooth sailing, then how do we know the pain of finding true love and appreciating it?

Gonna reply some of my tags here. Too much of Vectors is making me go mad. But I have found a new place to vent my frustrations; do math. x)
Siao: 3 words for you. I love you.
Sam Toh: Thanks for having so much faith in me but I highly doubt my intellectual abilities. Not kidding. Yeah. I know life sucks. You don't really need to reiterate. Haha. Your stupid t-shirt design sucks la. My arse is prettier.
Orange: I'm crossing my fingers and hoping you'll drop by my blog again. You really know me damn well sial. I was just about to say, "the biggest". Heh. Ok. A relatively decent size. But since you need to minimise luggage capacity, I'll say I want a size that is comfy to hug. It definitely has to be bigger than my carebear. Remember the eucalyptus leaves ok? *can't wait for u to get back*

Ok. Just a brief summary of the day. My bf has pushed my tolerance to the maximum limit. I won't elaborate what that devil did in the afternoon cos we're just gonna have another quarrel and it'll be the AFs who'll suffer. Bf, just cut the foreplay and get on with the sex part ok? Tsk tsk. Nonetheless, I still love her alotalotalot. Remember bf, I can give you a bigger and better *one!
Looks like we have to watch Mean Girls in 2 batches. I can't believe they are screwing up my social life on a Friday.

*Love fool

Something my dad said made me seriously upset. I really wonder what would happen if the unthinkable really happens. I don't wanna end up like the rest of them when everyone else continues getting educated. Sometimes, I think that my dad is being really unfair and unjust. I don't recall him saying the same thing to my other 2 sisters. It's about time that he realised that all 3 of us are different and it really isn't entirely my fault that I wasn't born brilliant or academically inclined. He has to face up to reality that he'll never be able to mould me into something that he wants, but I'm not.
Shit. I'm really scared. Seriously.
Swan, would you be ever so kind to lemme move into your place if my future goes downhill from then on? I mean seriously! Don't treat this as a joke cos I'm pretty sure that this will be happening to me in due time. Oh fuck.
The only thing that cheered me up today was that I busted my bank account by getting my Roxy sweater. The one that I've been eyeing for so long, considering whether to buy for so long. Yes. And I bought it with my own money pls. Not my parents, not my sis's. MY OWN money from the salary I earnt last year. And also, the pedicure that swan and I went to get today. Amateurs we are. I mean, I don't have excess of disposable income to spare you know?! So yeah. It was a really nice experience and I hope I'll try it again.
Sigh.. maybe I've indeed made the wrong choice, being where I am today. Perhaps, my fate and destiny might have changed if I altered the route I took. I seriously think that there isn't anything wrong in wallowing in self pity. Everyone leads a tough to get by
life, once in a while. Mine seems to be stuck in that period of time almost 2/3 of the time.
I've lost the mood to blog. I hate my life.

*Bounded by fears

I'm becoming more anal. Not that I wasn't one in the past, but the symptoms of being an analyst(another great invention of mine) are becoming more obvious now.
I really shouldn't ponder too much cos I'll just feel more retarded, un-loved and cranky.
So it's Saturday already. Bf drove away with another man. Crystle's probably having fun with fruityboy god knows where. Mosie is like at Mahalo with the cat high ppl. And of course, there's me who's stuck in front of the computer screen as I can only seek solace in blogging when I'm at home. All this talking isn't making any sense to anyone, isn't it? I know I'm sucha sod.
Where's my loserbuddy? He's always making use of me, calling me up at ungodly hours, sounding so damn rude and making it seem like I'm obliged to talk to him(doesn't matter if it's nonsensical). Fuckit. But I still attempt to talk to him. Even before my damn chemistry/econs paper. Just to hear him complain about how he's gonna fuck up econs cos he has only covered like 2 topics. But it's ok. I can deal with that. It's kinda a favour that I'm returning him, after I called him up at 2+am last year just because I was feeling sorry for myself after youknowwhat happened. He, apparently, has alot to update me about his life. But, again, I'm so gonna find out from others and when he finally tells me like say 2 weeks later, I'm gonna tell him what I always tell him. "I already heard it" and then narrate the whole story to him. -rolls eyes- c'mon. What's new man. I feel like calling my loserbuddy up now. But on second thought, I won't. He's having great fun now anyway. I think I'll just have to wait till he calls me. Which is I dunno when.
I lead such a pathetic, mundane and predictable life. It sucks. The same cycle repeats everyday! I need like some positive major changes around balls.
Which reminds me. I cut trimmed my hair today. No one noticed it. Clara was being nice by saying she could tell that it was more layered. Thank you dear. 2 inches pls! Now I know why guys always say they can't tell the difference when a girl cuts her hair. Unless it's like from long hair to short, spiffy looking kinda hairstyle. Screw you!
Charlie's librarian: I bought the jelly beans that you offered me on Wednesday!! I've decided that purple shall be my favourite flavour. x) Now that he's becoming more serious and moody, I'm getting sleepier by the week. Haven't you realised? When he used to make jokes about Indian Mamas and Chicken Rice, I was wide awake and thouroughly annoyed. Now, I'm just sleepy. His totally ugly looking gold specks are such a turn off. Enhances his tadpole looking eyes eh? Oh well. I'll be seeing you later. Wei Li better come. Btw, I saw Kenneth's gf and so did she. Lets just say, errrrrrrrrr
Okay. A way too long post for someone who's on the brink of going mental. Maybe I should stop visiting that blog. I hate to be reminded of what I've been trying to forget. Period.

*Your behaviour lately is the very epitome of nonchalance

I'm so sian. It's a friday night and friday's aren't supposed to be sian right? Well, not for my case. Although I had a eventful morning/afternoon shopping trip with sis and piglet, somehow, I still feel quite bad for letting my sis pay for my stuffs. Even the damn parking fee at paragon was sky high. Like $12 for 4 hours?! That just sucks. I swear I'll not make my sis pay for any of my things for the next 6 months. But I'm really broke la. Bank account is super pathetic. Eh girls.. when am I getting back my ka-ching?
Damn rashes. It's acting up again. I'm so stressed even after the exams. Have to wake up early to see the revolting chin tat. YUCK YUCK YUCK. Just point a gun at me and pull the trigger. I think I'm better off dead and be a wondering lost soul than being stuck here and suffering.
The only way I made myself useful was to help piece up piglet's mobile and hang it on her cot. I feel so sorry for her. She has only bear as friends to talk to in the morning. Hopefully, now she can talk to the 4 weird looking animals and that stupid looking cat who sings to the tune of I dunno what's the title. It was the same song teffy and qianyi used to sing big time during good ol' sec 4 days. Smth like, Close your eyes, go to sleep or smth like that. I'm not into nursery rhymes u see
Good night. I'm off to read.

*I like strawberry shortcakes

Math was dreadful. First time ever I didn't complete so many gazillion questions. Now I can't get my A. Shit. Too many statistics questions!! My results will be pathetic. For all 4 subs. Including gp. That bitch face doesn't seem too pleased when I spoke to her. Oh well. Enough of ranting. The exams are over for the time being.
Failed shopping trip with my sister balls... For 3.5 hrs, I bought nothing for myself, she bought nothing for herself. What we got for piglet was this mobile thing to hang at her cot to keep her entertained.
Toys'R'Us sure brings back many fond memories. I haven't stepped into that place for eons but everything seems to look the same. The entrance and the exit are still at their exact location. Thought they might do some minor renovation. Oh. The only thing that changed was that they are now playing cheesy kiddy music. Ok. I know it's Toys'R'Us but still! If I were to work there, I swear the music will drive me bonkers.
I'm heading to town tmr again and hopefully, I'll find something that catches my eye. I'm in need of clothes!!!
Oh btw, godsend, you seem to be a frequent visitor of my blog aye? Just wanted to know who you are. As in, are you from cj or smth? And yes, it's Beyond Paradise. x)
Met my crystle!!!!! And the entourage who fussed over Ianna for 5 mins minus crystle who I figured was trying to be polite and said "hi" to her. You see, we share a similar dislike for kids but since she's my niece, I'll make an exception. Ya. So 5 of us plus my sis were standing in the middle of nowhere bitching abt that bitch. Gurls, yes. My sis was askin me a thousand and one questions when you guys left.
Like, is she rich? How did she get to know that hotie when she's so ugly(that rhymes) and she said she looks like a spoilt bitch. Hell yeah! EEEEEEE. Bf. I can't believe you're related to her. You slut! AFs, I need bimbotism! Mean Girls soon pls pls pls???

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