Life hasn't been treating me good. Especially more so now... Since the beginning of the year, i've been spending my available time trying to solve and rectify problems; mine and those of my friends. And just when I thought that my problem has finally come to a stand still, another problem pops up..
I have been failing every single assignment that I've done myself; from gp to chinese( yes!!! chinese!! can you believe that I actually failed zuo wen?), and econs- a mediocre grade... The only thing that kept me going, or at least i thought so, was math. Everytime when something gets me down, i'll tell myself that at least I ace in math. I can't say the same for now.
Take today's test for instance. I could only do 16 marks worth of questions. Probability wasn't that difficult and I seldom had problems with that topic. But somehow or rather, I couldn't think logically for such a simple two mark question. Its fuckin demoralising. Don't make me go on telling you ppl abt my pathetic SATs results.. I'm utterly ashamed of myself...
I can't seem to find the motivation that can make me endure this last lap... The fact that my classmates have become insane and started mugging like crazy isn't helping.. I find myself struggling to be on par cos I definitely don't wanna lag behind. My friends have also started the momentum. I'm already losing steam.
I need some sign, some indication that everything's gonna be okay. I need assurance badly. Not from my friends, but from myself.
Now how on earth, can I find what I'm lacking? Everything's seriously fucked up. I wish I hadn't been born...

*Self-destruction