Really fucked for CT's tmr. I'm ultimately fucked. I have no other words to describe the situation I'm in now, but fucked.

Changed the song. Another of my all time favourite. Too bad for all you Avril hater's out there. It's my blog, my music. Suckers... The lyrics totally depicts everything. For those of you who have been fuckin 2 timed before, you'd get what I mean. I even have the lyrics hand written and pasted on my cupboard. Then again, I don't know why I'm still having this song on my blog. I mean afterall, I'm totally outta the hell hole! Guess it's to acknowledge Avril and her song, too much to ask. I found solace in it. I had this song on repeat mode when I was down in the dumps. I'm still having this song on repeat mode when I'm not down in the dumps. Hahaha...
I had this really inspirational talk with Malcolm during math lect on friday. Go ahead and laugh. Malcolm of all people. Yes yes, Daph's malcolm. THAT malcolm from t22. Lixing's malcolm. Remember which malcolm i'm refering to? Good. Anyway, it all started with me askin him the answer to this integration problem and it was too tideous conferencing with 3 rows in between us. I eventually went to the top. Got my math quest solved. So there was Chua Bee Bah lecturing to god knows who, and malcolm and I were indulging in our own conversation. The topic of her was brought up and yeah. Kinda weird cos I have no idea why of all ppl, her. Then, it was about the D.P. Doubt he found out the dark secret. *phew* He gave me all his inputs about lesbianism and how he found it so fuckin gross. Hahaha.. Malcolm, you totally suck!!! That's not the inspirational part. It's too long and private to blog it down. Nonetheless, it helped kill 10 mins of my mundane math lect.
One more thing, I totally love my ClimaCool. I've been receiving positive comments about it. And the best thing is that it sorta lengthens by horrible stumps. Thank you bf for going down and getting it with me. Bet you had a fun time checkin out those legs with the mirror.
What's to be said, have been said. I'll take my leave and go back to where I belong; with the notes.

*I've had enough

Am not in the pink of health. Boo hoo hoo. x(. Slept only at 130am last night cos I was finishing up my long dued chem tutorial and integrating equations till I went bonkers. I HAVE to start on my econs like tonight. I'll be a complete goner if I don't keep to my promise. Anyway, yes, i slept during ethics again and got scolded. I'm so fuckin sick; coughing and having a major sore throat, breakin out in cold sweat. I suspect I caught the flu bug from swanny. -"thank you", swanny-
I think I should learn from fi and skip school on thursdays. It's always mother unproductive cos I end up sleeping. Urgh....
I'm not the only one who's sick btw... poor milk isn't in school either. There... bad luck isn't it? Then I got the msg and it totally made my day.. yes. up till this point of time. Bf, bunny mo, swanny, and my ba-gua gang, thanks for sharing my happiness. Muahhaha..
Anyway, there was this super big scene that happened just now. This stupid j1 guy was dared to jump into the pond. He did. At the wrong time. Loser... It was at the change of periods when I heard a loud splash. The next thing I knew, that loser was swimming in the pond. I bet the koi's died of shock or smth. Then, suddenly 1/2 of cj's population was standing at the corridoors, balconies, and looking on at that guy, who by then, got a thrashing from ms giam.. hur hur.. I mean like what the fuck.. The pond stinks of god knows what, and algaes are starting to grow cos of photosynthesis and he jumped into the pond???!!! I overheard his conversation with giam :" oh... i was trying to look at the fishes and i slipped and fell in."
Err.. okay??? The j1's are really childish la.. His stupid supporters were cheering and clapping for him up there after gaining his 5 minutes of fame. A lil like William Hung. Making a fool outta yrself to make yourself known. He's so gonna be in shit when bro hears abt it. I'm waiting to see what bro asswipe paul says about the incident tmr. A good reason for me to go to school. Hurray~
I am sick, I am sick, I am sick.... I'm gonna mug and sleep early tonight. I can't take this shit of 5 hrs of sleep when my immune system is hell low.

*Cloud #9

There won't be a trilogy to my "Milky Encounter". hahaha... That's cos I didn't see the D.P this morning, first thing I came to school. Oh wells.
This is really ironic. My original chem teacher is away on reservist and the goddamn good, bestest chem teacher ever was supposed to be his substitute. Poor lady. 3 J2 classes on top of her 3 J1 classes to take, numorous practicals to go through with us. No wonder she fell sick. Now in her place, is another substitute; a J3. Goodness gracious. Someone was having a fun time oggling at him but I was dying. His accent was a tad bit too strong, his handwriting was atrocious and words were scribbled all over the place. I couldn't figure out any thing. To retaliate, he said " Messiness is a form of art." With the lamest smile you can ever find on earth. Wtf man, seriously... 10 more mins before the bell rang, he just sat there and said " okay, you guys can slack. But don't make too much noise" err... hello??!! Gibberish nonsense. Thank god he's only teaching us for a day.
Haven't been catching up with alot of ppl, in cj and out of cj. That's what my classmates call me, a no lifer. Was having the ultimate "fun", doing integration with my bf outside the library. Gave up after too many distractions that were present. There was the whole entourage of the rugby team, poking fun of me, then there was shaunie baby, walking up and down the stairs, robbie and jeremy slacking with us, and starting the bastardised debate. Hur hur... Van and Matthew, you guys rock!!! *nudges bf*, told you milk rocks...
Then victor came back to ask if i've seen reuben, claiming that i have a reuben radar. wtf.. then the whole rugby team, reeking of sweat, came back again... yaking non stop, making me the ultimate joke. Fuckers. Alex came and got a helluva scolding from bf... eh bf, aye.. better not say. x)
Math is totally blowing my mind man. Fuck shit.

*Milk reigns over bf's self proclaimed "cutie-boy"

-I love this song to damn bits-
I found solace in this song when I was still in my on-off mood. Best part of it? It's uncensored!!! Unlike 98.7 who censors almost every shit. Leaving the moaning girl to censor the words.
I'm gonna change it when I figure that you ppl are getting sick of the song.
The only drawback is that there's the ugly advertisement on my almost flawless, pretty, girly skin. *sulks*
Anyway, the mission of not allowing the Dairy Product to gain the upper hand is downright successful. I can't believe that I'm actually getting something done. And I can't believe that it was Alex's advice that I heeded. Of all ppl, it has to be the ugly boy. *shrugs* It's good advice though. x)
This morning, I manage to resist the temptation to aknowledge the D.P though he was just 5m away. Ulynn saw through the major excitement I was having. And we suspected my mother did too. Hahah.. whatever balls. Bunny and bf were just as equally proud of me. I love you guys!!!
After chem lect, swanny and I were walking back to class, passed by his class and he was grinning from ear to ear. Took that as a hi and I gave the weak smile again. Hahaha... Swanny said he was looking out all the while. er.. ???!!! See... I'll wait for him to initiate and i'll definitely acknowledge. But, I won't make the first move. Sound like a bitch, don't I? That's the rule of the game now pls, thank you. I don't wanna appear like some no lifer to him.
Btw, bunny mo, clifford told me the naughty conversation you had with charine. And how you were so confident you weren't gonna get drunk. Aye aye mo... *shakes head*. Lemme tell you what my bf told me.
Bf:" Yah la!!! Told her when she clubs, i must be present. Then i can protect her from those ppl who wanna take advantage of her."
Me:" Your balls la... protect what shit. Who was the one who slept in her own puke? You'll prob get taken advantage of together with her la..."
Bf:" *silence* hahahha"
Wtf... I can't believe that I love the 2 stupidest ppl on the face on earth. I got a better solution. You guys can consider asking Garlic to go with you ppl. Guys will so get turned off by the niak actions and the incessant whinings.. Then, you can have a wild girl's nite out. x)
I got my running shoes!!! Sorry steffie... I cldn wait till the CT's are over. Temptations got the better of me. Moreover, I'm paranoid that they won't have my size if I wait. Go ask bf. hahah.. Next on my wish list is the damn 599. Next month, next month *chants*
Mugging time

*Playing

Thought I could at least catch a glimse of you. God forbade it. It's all fate.
Wasn't mighty excited waiting for time's up neither was I terribly upset when I left before you came.
Tmr's a start of a new week with econs test being the entre. What an acronym. I can't believe I'm getting cheesier by day. Must be the huge amount of tests thrown in my face. My supposedly short day that ends at 150 will now end at 3+,4... no thanks to my substitute chem teacher who desperately wants to go through the test papers. Having said that, that's another paper that'll add to my collection of FAILED. Passed:Failed would be prob 1:4. Roughing the scores out. Yup. There about. Pathetic aye? Everyone's lamenting about how screwed they'll be for CT's. I'm no exception. Argh... I can't keep continueing living life like this, till I come face to face with impending doom. The thought of myself screwing up yet another national exam totally freaks me out I swear. This time, its either I make it or break it. My parent's aint gonna help me outta this shit hole again.
Is it a norm to lose the drive and motivation at such a crucial time? Everyday is just the comp for 165768 hours and i spend lest than 1/10000 of that time on my books.
I've already eliminated 1/3 of the problem. Now it boils down to the other 2/3; of which 1 takes sheer hardwork and determination and the other, i'll burn it like a leech on the skin. It'll fall off. (I hope)
It's actually not that difficult to keep your girly dignity. Only if it comes to someone. That'll have to be my reoccuring living nightmare. Dreading the times when our paths cross. Not the baby face pls. Yesterday, the Dairy Product came online. Moment of adrenaline rush. As quickly as it came, it disappeared. x) Stupid ulynn just had to laugh at me. You bitch!!! -> I'm supposed to keep my cool remember? This is supposed to be a top secret. So when the Dairy Product was right thur, outside the LT, I got a shock cos I was still not over the damn halogenoalkane to ketone question. Turned around and saw him obviously i got a shock la. It was my best attempt to hide the minute excitement okay. Stop bursting out with laughter ever again. One day, he'll find out and i'm doomed. Your head'll roll too. God knows whether the stupid sji spies saw the shit. How embarrassing.
I'm off to wallow in self pity again.

*Mental disillusion

Mother fuckin pissin week for me.
Totally dread thinking abt what other worse things can happen to me..
Chem test was a total goner.. Fuck all the chem teachers for setting such a long paper and only giving slow thinkers like me, only 45 mins to think. Fuck the know-it-alls that bragged abt how simple the paper was, how they can like TOTALLY pass and how they managed to finish the paper... All said with such glee and mockery. Actually, its just ONE person. So yeah, fuck you, you moronic,irritating,totally insensitive pea head arsehole!!!
Hooray for me pls!!! I just made the bitch hate me coz she caught me talking abt something irrelevant to gp, during her lesson... Life's gonna be hell for me i suppose. It's so hard to please her. By minding your own business, she'll say that you aint contributing and that you shld speak more. By discussing chemistry with wenqi, she'll give THAT tone
Bitch:" OKAY!!! just tell me what was that abt? You know, if you need to clarify anything, you can ask me"
*silence*
Bitch:" E'an? What were you askin wenqi abt?"
Me:" Nothing.. *staring down at my notes*"
Bitch:" Wenqi? Is it abt gp?"
Wenqi:"No.."
Bitch:" Ok.. that's a lil too much..........."
All that she said after that, i didnt bother to listen. I fuckin hate her for being so discriminating, two faced and very very much hypocritical.. She's SOOOO fake...
Shit hole cjc was never good towards my class. Cranky old lady for a HT last year. This year? Changed a new one. Thought that life cld be a little better. Turns out that she's one eccentric bitch...

*Struggling

Seriously man, i'm lacking a whole lot of sleep. Even so when i go to bed promptly at 1130 yesterday, i still woke up while being half asleep. You know, that kinda shit. That totally resulted in me dozing off during ethics, econs tutorial and the later part of gp. What's worse? The bitch accused me of sleeping during her lesson 4 days in a row which is totally untrue. I dare to swear that this is the only time in this month i've fallen asleep in school. Biatch!!! So maybe, when i rest my head on the table and keeping quiet, she just happily assumes that i'm sleeping. She said the most nonsensical thing ever today; " So E'an.. I haven't heard your voice for sooooo long and haven't exactly seen your face around either( basically, she was implying that i was sleeping, for those of you who are still clueless)" Wtf man..
So godamn bloody pissed!!!! The reason why i woke up feeling lethargic was because i had a dream abt him. Can't remember the details though. Yeah. Not as if it was worth remembering anyway. The conclusion? When i dream, i wake up feeling tired. As simple as that.
Was on my way outta school when the Diary Product shouted for me. Remeber Alex's theory abt gaining the "upper hand"? Yup. Totally put it into practice today. I managed to suppress the urge to look into his class. *shows a triumphant smile* Didn't really bother to know if he was still in class so yeah. When he called me, i just turned and gave him the half hearted "hi" and walked away. I totally rock, don't i? Bf and bunny; proud of me anot!!! I'll bite you both if you don't. I seriously would!!! Afterall, i've already bitten bunny's shin before. Hur hur..
Aiight.. time to study. Totally unprepared for tmr's test and lets not even mention the econs test on sat?! Hah..

*Butt Whore

Hah.. that bloody bitch seriously can't control her sexual desires and has decided to let go of the excitement thru the so called " discussion" we have on politics. Doesn't make any sense right? I don't get it either.
One group was doing presentation on censorship and then she just fired this question " Do you think bar top dancing makes women an object?" errrrrr?! I was fuckin stoning during her lesson but my ears were attentive since censorship and whatsnot interests me, unlike how the govt hiraki is done and who's in charge of what. So anyway, she continued shooting questions that was soooo incoherent to censorship for eg, sodomy, oral sex and just basically, an impromptu sex education that wasn't properly taught. I can't believe the fact that she actually asked us on our views if sodomy was an act of love or violence. NO RESPONSE from the usual peeps, as usual. She happily answered her own question with much vigour.
" I think that its an act of violence because..... *pauses and is unsure how to phrase the sentence* well, when the gay thrusts (note the word used by her.) his penis into the other's asshole, it'll cause the blood vessels to burst and then the HIV virus would come into contact.. not forgetting that gays are promiscuous ppl" I thought that was damn hilarious.. ppl, pls laugh with me coz that was the only moment that i snapped back to reality. I know i shouldn't include such explicit details on my blog but wtf.. i have to prove that the gp teacher is a real loser. Then she went on abt how the rectum is not made to receive semen but to hold shit... blah blah blah... totally went off tangent. I was pretty much grossed out after 45 mins of shit talk, literally...
Tmr's the double period. No more of such nonsense again. I'll seriously barf!!!
Many valuable lessons learnt today:
1) Never go studying in a group of 3. Like they always say, three's a crowd. Alex was the extra. Mugging was damn pathetic. I barely did 4 miserable questions for chemistry, bf was stoning and pathetic alex only completed ONE math prob. Plus the fact that he's seriously lagging behind the whole school and i taught him that prob. So he didn't get any work done by himself today.
2) Never go studying with Alex. He brags too much shit and we end up straining our eye muscles by rolling them when he starts on his nonsense.
3) Alex taught me a valuable thing today. Something that I'll never truly understand abt gaining the "upper hand". Sort of got the main gist of it and I'm glad I stuck to my dignity this time round. Thank you, ugly boy!!! x)
4) Bastards will be bastards. When you see one, you've seen the whole lot of them. I can easily list 10 off hand now.
5) Saying that you forgot is such a simple way to shift the fault to someone else. Damn milk.

*You're my lucky star

Ripped this off Tiff's blog;
one juz has to succumb to the fact tt it's a hypocritical world out there.
There, that sentence means everything i have to say.
My tolerance level for my gp teacher has really hit the max. Everyday, she comes into class and picks on this certain friend on mine. Okay fine, maybe she meant well the first time, just that her tone wasn't right. But my friend changed. She really did. From this really extrovert and cheery girl, she totally became so quiet. Basically, her character was far from her usual self which scares us a whole lot.
From that day onwards, she comes into class and then picks on her for the most minor issue and it affects her mood all over again. I bet my gp teacher felt downright guilty after that becos when she asked the class for inputs on smth, that classmate of mine gave a really interesting answer and that bitch just went" THAT'S RIGHT!!!". With such zeal and enthusiasm. Give me a break already!!!
I really felt like telling her off, to stop all those hypocrisy and that fake smile of hers. Just like wenqi said, she isn't the least bit professional in teaching. When she's pissed or suffering from some mood swing, she comes into class, scolds us, give all of us a crap 45 mins just listening to her voice drooning on and on till we end up in our own fantasy.
I swear if she picks on my friend IN CLASS again, i'm definitely gonna give her my inputs on her stupid attitude..
Must be feeling sour as she isn't able to pursue her law career and ended up taking up teaching.

*Sky high feeling

Everyone seemed to be suffering from some PMS syndrome today, especially the GP teachers. Damn Khoo pls... came into class wearing all black like she was gonna attend some funeral, scolded us for being slow in presentation, threatened us that if we didnt present the fuck shit politics thing well, she'll make the group stay back after school and go through the shit with her.. Shoot her pls.. Politics really sucks and I don't even plan to attempt that topic for my essays anyway.. Fucker.. During lecture, she started getting cranky again, picking on anyone caught making some lip movement..
After school, it was Gopal's turn. Fucked my bf and bunny mo up for not completing their comprehension. I mean like get a life?! It's their wish not to finish then so be it la.. As usual, all the teachers could do best is to threaten and " send you to detention". And i got scolded for talking to robbie. Yeah yeah.. whatever happened to the socialite democracy in singapore and the so called freedom of speech? Fuck head. Call yourself a teacher who can teach politics?!
Anyway, had a ball of a time studying at Starbucks with my bf.. totally love that dear to bits.. so sad that bunny mo cldn make it. It was bloody fruitful. I did chem and bf finished her poisson.. NOW, she can haolian to a certain know-it-all irritant.. *nudges bf*
Plus, we had someone's sms to make us laugh till we died.. i love u bf!!!
I'm in the mood to sleep. I deserve sleep. I've worked so hard. err.. right.. hahah

*You

OMG... Vday has never been so exciting and fruitful.. sometimes, i think its so much more fun spending vday with them and the parents *private joke*.. hahahaha
love it love it love it... so much laughter and fun injected into the short span of 2 hours plus.. stupid sms-es that drove me mad and crazy... and i totally relived my worst nightmare man; like just an hour ago.
Fun fact of the day: My bunny mo gets high on seafood. x)
Sigh... it just occured to me that the Dairy Product might have other views about me.. thanks to bf... no sarcasm really.. but what she said really made sense.. see la bf.. always make me so sad.. heheh. Stupid *** bastards. I think i'm cursed... one after another.. its the 3rd case pls.. 2 un-official and 1 fuckin official... whatever balls...
so glad to be able to see my dears tmr again... hopefully? never seem to be able to see anyone but ulynn on mondays.. hahah..
Poisson now.

*No spite

Feeling much better already. Have grown to accept the fact that though my dog isn't physically here with me, he'll always be in my heart! Many thanks to all those who stood by me during this period of time. ilu!!!
Anyway, today was absolutely awesome!!!! Went to catch a movie with him and yeah... totally made my day.... and then i went to meet my gfs for a supposed bitching session. argh... by the time i got there, the whole thing ended so walked ard, talked abit and yeah... I MISS YOU CRYSTLE!!! and i'm proud that your boobies grew like twice( or smth.. and yup... i just HAVE to mention this on my blog), This girl is so damn proud of her boobs.. you shld have heard what she said abt the tube. explicit details should be kept hush hush aye?! x)
So now everyone in the AF knows about my lil' but not so lil' secret... keep it low yeah? not very nice for the msg to get to that person... i'm not mentally ready to blurt out the truth.. so steffie, nonononono... the time's not right. Rest assure that i'm not like bunny. She and her silly dignity. hahahah...
Thanks to all my gfs for tolerating my high-ness... i'm happy ecstatic!!! sorry to cause much disturbance to your ears and most imptly, to my bf and bunny mo; you know that you're always my number one priority and i wouldn't dream of cheating on you 2.. heh.. i'm surprised that bf didn't make a huge fuss over the movie with him... you're the best!!! i knew you'd be understanding.. hahah
I'm a happy girl today!

*You're my ecstacy

As the saying goes, bad luck comes consecutively.

Go, my dear dog. Your time on earth has come to a standstill... Heaven's arms reach out wide open for you. There, you'll no longer suffer in agony and it'll be a whole new paradise; endless stretches of fields decorated with wild flowers for you to play, and many other dogs for you to mingle with. You've finally found the freedom that you've yearned since the day you were born. Remember that we love you and will miss you alot. Rest in peace, Black Fox.

This might sound meaningless, dedicating this poem i wrote for my dog who grew up with me for the past 15 years, when he can't even read it at all. But i trust that God, will help relay the message to him. I've been crying buckets since this morning and I appreciate all the reassuring hugs. But i'll appreciate that you ppl don't bring up my dog anymore. Not till i learn to control my tear glands. My dog and i share a really close relationship and it'll take quite some time for me to accept the fact.
To the other dogs that passed away recently, Jin Wei's Golden Retriever and Chow's Cockle Spaniel, rest in peace too.

*Do they really go to heaven?

Life hasn't been treating me good. Especially more so now... Since the beginning of the year, i've been spending my available time trying to solve and rectify problems; mine and those of my friends. And just when I thought that my problem has finally come to a stand still, another problem pops up..
I have been failing every single assignment that I've done myself; from gp to chinese( yes!!! chinese!! can you believe that I actually failed zuo wen?), and econs- a mediocre grade... The only thing that kept me going, or at least i thought so, was math. Everytime when something gets me down, i'll tell myself that at least I ace in math. I can't say the same for now.
Take today's test for instance. I could only do 16 marks worth of questions. Probability wasn't that difficult and I seldom had problems with that topic. But somehow or rather, I couldn't think logically for such a simple two mark question. Its fuckin demoralising. Don't make me go on telling you ppl abt my pathetic SATs results.. I'm utterly ashamed of myself...
I can't seem to find the motivation that can make me endure this last lap... The fact that my classmates have become insane and started mugging like crazy isn't helping.. I find myself struggling to be on par cos I definitely don't wanna lag behind. My friends have also started the momentum. I'm already losing steam.
I need some sign, some indication that everything's gonna be okay. I need assurance badly. Not from my friends, but from myself.
Now how on earth, can I find what I'm lacking? Everything's seriously fucked up. I wish I hadn't been born...

*Self-destruction

You absolutely made my day...
What more could I ask for after a long rainy day at school, feeling screwed up abt the whole test and probably the whole day? -you-

*Heavenly

Rubin: The feeling of being backstabbed by your very own best friend really sucks. Everyone knows that. To find out that he even had the audacity to do that kinda shit to you, is even more unbearable... But like I said, its 8 long years of friendship. Ask yourself, are u willing to actually let go of something so precious? Friendships like yours doesn't come by often and once you decide to give it up entirely, you might never be able to recover it. I know the damage has already been done but like you said, " never let a *beep* come in between a friendship".. Doesn't it make more sense to hate the other party more than your bestie? You didn't tell me the whole story so this is what i picked up from the bits and pieces here and there.. I don't think i'm far from the fact, or am I? Lastly, really do cheer up. No point feeling down and upset for such a long time cos you're just doing more damage to yourself. So what if you cry yourself to sleep? I doubt both of them know that and probably don't even give a fuck, right? It took me 9 months to fully understand that theory. If you haven't, you'll eventually do so. Always remember that God has better plans installed for you. *hugs*

School work is already killing me. Faithfully doing my tutorials on time doesn't make much difference. I'm already buried by the pile of shit aka tests. Never ending tests... 3 on average every week, and the cycle continues every week... Seriously, fuck shit man.. I don't even have a life anymore. The only place i can seek solace seems to be sitting in front of the computer. Like get a life already?
What's worse? I have to sacrifice my weekends to go back for stupid tests and CIP. I don't even see the point of doing charity work when we're being forced to; merely obliging to the damn education system just to collect more CCA points. What's the real meaning of doing charity work? Wasn't it supposed to be done outta one's own willingness? Hah.. really ironic. Here, the school's preaching about ethics and then the system is in a way, black mailing us.. Just to let those who are still in dream land, thinking that Singapore's the greatest place on earth to live in, know that the whole system is corrupted.. From the top of the hiraki, right down to the bottom. That includes the stupid government who squeezes the last dime from us in the form of taxes, to the really damned school that i'm attending. The whole economy is already so bad, and there is the govt, increasing GST rates, taxing us for every single item we purchase.. What the fuck is he trying to do? Cause more unemployment and mark the history of Singapore, finally being able to reach the point of hyperinflation?! Puh Lease... just cut the crap excuse of using the tax payers money to " inprove the standard of living." Digging roads all day long, building more neighbourhood schools and HDB flats, reclaiming land here and there.. Just fuck it. It hasn't improved the standard of living a single bit. We might be intellectually well above children of 3rd world countries but we're too pampered. Way too pampered. Don't make me go into the issue of being street wise coz the majority of us aren't...
If anyone has the opportunity to migrate abroad, pls do so... And don't ever come back... I don't see a future for us in this country...

*Damn politics

see i don't.. know why
i like you so much..
i gave ya all of my trust
i told you.. i loved you
now its all down the drain
you put me through pain
i wanna let you know how i feel

Chorus:
fuck what i said
it don't mean shit now
fuck the presents
might as well throw em' out
fuck all those kisses
they didn't mean jack
fuck you, you hoe
i don't want you back

your question
did i care?
you can ask anyone
i even said
you were my great one
now its i'm over
but i do admit i'm sad
it hurts real bad
i can't sweat that
cause i loved a hoe


hmmm... hoe? i guess it has to be substituted with dick

You said you wished things didn't turn out this way.. Right... who are you trying to kid? I thought i had found the determination to bury the past along with you... To tell myself that this will be a new me, a new beginning for everything... perhaps i was being too ambitious because i found myself taking peeks at something which no longer belonged to me.
Hateration? No doubt. There's evil within me. I hope(d) to see you suffer; the way you watched me suffer and yet not throw me a life line. But then again, if you had the heart to save me from drowning, you wouldn't have thrown me into the water knowing that i was incapable of swimming well.
You are a malicious creature, in disguise that is. You prey on girls by becoming their friend. Somewhat like the psychotic perverts that the news always report on. But there's this small yet significant difference. The culprits were brought to justice. You weren't...

*God, please allow me to forgive that certain someone??!!

You turned up at the wrong point of my life